How To Tame An Empress (BOOK I)

Chapter 44 - The Space Between Happiness

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There were nights when I still dreamt of the village. Not nightmares. Nor memories twisted by grief or guilt. I simply dreamt of the village as it had been.

Quiet mornings beneath a pale sky, the smell of freshly baked bread drifting through the streets, the sound of children laughing somewhere beyond the little house that had once been ours. I could still remember the uneven wooden table where I had prepared our meals, the tiny garden I had tried to keep alive, and the way the neighbours would call out to me as they passed.

Aurelia. They had called me by that name without hesitation, without ceremony, without ever needing to add anything after it. Just Aurelia.

Sometimes I wondered if that was why I remembered those six months so fondly. Because nobody there expected me to be anything. I could wake when I wanted, walk where I wanted, and speak to whoever I pleased. I could sit outside for an entire afternoon with Evan beside me and watch the clouds drift overhead without wondering whether someone was waiting for me to return to the palace.

No guards followed me, no servants anticipated my every need, no senators cared what I thought. And nobody watched me. Perhaps that was what I missed most; the freedom to exist without being observed.

"Ria?" My eyes blinked slowly, the memory dissolving before me as I turned my head. Stacius was watching me from the head of the breakfast table beside me, one hand resting on his goblet as his eyes studied my face.

"Is something wrong? You have been staring at the same piece of bread for nearly a minute." He asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Nothing is wrong." The answer came automatically as I glanced down at the untouched food on my plate, but when he continued to gaze at me, unsatisfied, I added. "...I was just thinking."

"About what?" I hesitated, knowing how this would go if I spoke honestly, but thankfully, footsteps sounded beyond the dining room before I could answer.

"Mama!" Evan entered first. He was sixteen now, and sometimes I still struggled to reconcile the young man standing before me with the little boy who had once clung to my skirts whenever a stranger raised his voice.

He had grown taller than me some time ago, his shoulders broadening from years of training beneath his father's watchful eye. Though, there was still something of the little boy in his smile, especially now when he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"Good morning, mama." Ambrosius followed behind him, fourteen and already possessing far more composure than his brother. He stopped beside my chair and kissed my other cheek before taking his seat.

"Good morning." I smiled at both of them, and this time it was not painted on. Meanwhile, Stacius watched us with that quiet satisfaction he always wore whenever his family was gathered around him.

Evan reached for the bread while Ambrosius began helping himself to the fruit, and their conversation was quick to turn to training. Apparently, Evan had managed to defeat one of the older soldiers yesterday which Ambrosius insisted had been nothing more than luck.

"It was not luck." Evan huffed, furrowing his brows as he ripped the bread in his hands with more force than necessary. For a moment, I was struck by how much he looked like his father when he made that face, and I couldn't help but smile.

"It was. I watched him slip right before my eyes, and that, big brother, is luck." Ambrosius retorted, throwing an olive at his older brother to further agitate him and succeeding as Evan almost lunged at him.

"For boys who claim that they are not children, you both seem to love acting like you are." I laughed as they shot their heads around to face me, offended.