Mistakes Were Made!

Peter's not a charity case, he's just... making a financial choice that may involve getting practically free money from strangers.

Things are a bit tight right now, is all. JJJ is paying him even less than usual, rent got bumped up, and he needs to pay for a repair for the spidey suit after an especially gnarly battle.

So, yeah, he could use some extra cash, which is why he's up at ten-at-night slouched over his computer and creating an OnlyFans account.

It's a perfectly respectable thing to do in his situation. He's not going to be posting spider-porn or anything like that. He doesn't know what he'll post, actually. People would probably pay to see Spider-Man do anything, even just read a book. Oh! He could do little biology lessons. That's a great idea because he's literally a biology teacher. Big brain boy.

After putting the final touches on his account, he gets set up to start filming. He's not going to splurge on fancy equimptment, so his phone camera and a lamp are going to have to do.

He feels weird talking to an inanimate object as if it was a real person but he makes it work. Adding in his usual brand of bad jokes to help ease the awkwardness of it all, he goes over a (not-so) simple biology concept and posts it. An hour later, he checks his phone to see hundreds of notifications. That was quick, he thinks.

Peter gets on a posting schedule, releasing a few videos each week. He quickly amasses hundreds of thousands of followers after Tweeting about it on his Spider-Man account. It's not verified, but people generally accept that it's actually him.

He was right about the whole 'I can post about literally anything and people will eat it up' thing. He doubts anyone actually cares about biology; they just want to see his face--well, Spider-Man's face.

Peter's never been more liquid in his life; he's got cash flowing out the wazoo. It's nice, which is why something has to go wrong. The infamous Parker Luck never lets him catch a break.

The day in question starts out fine; he catches his train, doesn't get mugged, and there's no villainry for him to stop.

It's when he walks into the school that things begin to take a turn for the worse. His students are whispering, which is normally fine because they're asshole kids but today they seem like they're all whispering about the same thing: him. On top of that, several students whoop and whistle at him in the halls.

Something's up.

He makes his way into his classroom, trying his best to avoid anyone and everyone. After a bit, the students start filing in.

A boy shouts, "Get it Mr. Parker!"

Peter's head shoots up from where it was bent over various papers. "Excuse me?"

"We saw what your husband tweeted," a girl pipes up, blushing.

"I--what?" Peter scrambles to find his phone in his messy bag.

The girl places a hand over her mouth. "You didn't know?"