i am a big fat raging homosexual

V1: my location: simp town

how to stop being a big fat homosexual.

well homos, we made it to simp town. i will now indulge you in my latest crush. she is my best friend. for legal reasons i will be changing her name to chloe. (if you ever see this book im so sorry)

we met in the fifth grade and became friends. we stayed as people in the same friend group. sixth grade came and we were in almost all the same classes so we hung around a lot. quarantine happened so we didnt really talk at all. around june she got a phone so we started to facetime everyday. it was like this until summer, where our other friend got a phone so we started talking less because they were best friends.

it was around this time that i got another friend that i developed yet another big fat homosexual crush on (story for another time)

all four of us became friends and we each had our own prospective  best friend. seventh grade started and i made friends with my class. i introduced my original friends to the group and thus we all became one. my best friend and chloes best friend became best friends (maybe dating?)

me and her started talking more and more due to this, and now that leads us  into our curren situation. we facetime almost everyday and im hopelessly in love with her.

we have sleepovers every month where we do very not straight things. we have both accepted our attraction towards women, so i know i have a chance.

two months ago was when it all started to click. we had a sleepover where we were feeling very impulsive (mostly her). she wanted to go on a walk, and me being a simp, i said yes. we came back and she said she wanted to stargaze. i sais yes again, and we did it.

the tension was so thick you could cut it. it was a perfect time to kiss her. we would both look at eachother every si often, smiling once we saw eachother.

after around 40 minutes we went back inside. before hand we had watched a movie where two people kissed and then one of them broke down in the others arms.

i decided that it was a good time to read through my texts with my dead grandmother (i forgot all about the movie and i didnt do this as some cheap ploy to kiss her)

she was in the bathroom and she saw me crying, but i think because of that movie she didnt want to say anything. we continued the rest of the night as normal, pretending like stargazing wasnt the gayest thing weve ever done together.

about 2 week ago, she came over again. we went to chicago together (because i want to go to a big city with her). we went to sleep the night before practically sleeping on eachother shoulders, so that was nice to wake up to :). we embarked on our journey.

about 30 minutes in i put my feet up on the seat in front of me. she then puts her feet on top of mine. she looked at me with a smile. i was very gay at that moment

time skip to when were leaving chicago. i had bought a plushie and we both pretended it was our child. the back window of the car opened (where we were sitting) and we have the brilliant idea of singing our hearts out to him and the innocent people in downtown chicago.

then she puts 'i wanna be your girlfriend' by girl in red on. we then started pointing and singing to eachother.

time skip to my aunts and we progress to the physical touch portion of our relationship. we started doing trust falls (she was the only person falling) and pushing eachother around. we also held hands (wow thats so romantic and totally not sometimes best friends do).

we then got home and she wanted to watch it (the movie). chloe was very scared for no reason and started scootching closer to me.

thats about all that has progressed as of physical/romantic things. we are very close and know a lot about eachother.

i want to make a move but im very scared that she doesnt like me back and just thinks of me as a friend. and with the chance we do end up dating we break up and end on a sour note, no longer being friends.

i am a hopeless homosexual in love with my best friend. shes coming over next week so i will try to update. please comment advice for me. ill try to take it into account.