The pack leader (ff San, Seonghwa)

18.

'You said we aren't like humans because they lost touch with nature, and that they destroy her, right?' After a few kilometres of absolute silence, San spoke up, running alongside Aurora.

'Yes, that's right. Why?' She would never admit that San's presence was vital for this trip, since she felt ashamed that she was afraid of humans. He was more than vital, he was the only one thanks to whom she could go into that small town and demand answers to her questions.

'Do you plan on having electricity?'

She saw where he was going with these questions. She once asked her father the same question.

'I do. I have no right answer for this San. Maybe I have prejudices towards humans, but don't forget that generating electricity is not as destructive as other things humans do. There are ways to generate electricity with renewable resources, which doesn't damage nature.' Her reasoning wasn't perfect, because she knew having electricity wasn't really suitable with nature. Electricity was a privilegium not a necessary need. However, every member was used to having it and she wanted her pack to be comfortable and don't worry about lighting a fire after the dusk or not having refrigerators or cookers.

'If you say so, I won't argue with you, darling.' His words made her want to submit so hard she had to stop for a second. He can't do this to her! Not when she's so vulnerable!

'You never called me that.'

'Hwa calls you that, I figured you won't mind if I do the same. Why? Is it a problem?' He stopped abruptly in his tracks when he noticed she wasn't running with him. He turned around and went back to her, curiously tilting his head to the left.

'I don't mind, but not now. It'll be better to not call me that in the near future. I can't afford to submit now.' San looked at her, disagreeing with her words.

'If you need it, Aura, don't hold it. We can take some time after we come back.' She loved how he automatically associated himself in her plans of submitting. It was nice and comforting to know that he's willing to help and she doesn't have to ask him. But the harsh reality couldn't be denied.

'You don't get it, San. When I really let myself loose, my omega takes over. Not to an extent that I can't control it, it's still me, but it'll take days to be able to go back to my alpha position. I will need extra care and a lot of attention and cuddles. Firstly, we can't afford a useless leader now and secondly, I can't possibly worry and bother you with it, it's too much.' She didn't look forward to that time she let herself loose. She will be alone in her 'subspace', how she likes to call it, and there will be nobody to provide a warm embrace or light lovable kisses, just how she always dreamed and imagined when she thought about her future mate.

'When will you finally understand that you're special to me, Aura? To Hwa too. It doesn't matter what you need, want or wish for, you don't bother us at all.' He came closer, joining their noses. Aurora quickly pulled away.

'San! Don't do that!'

'Sorry. But I can't help it.'

She so wished for him to do it again since she knew she wouldn't pull away anymore. The urge, the want, the need to do it again was consuming her like the deepest ocean.

'Tell me, Aura. Do you want me to go over to you and show you just how much you mean to me or do you wish to continue walking to the town?' What was that supposed to mean? Show her just how much she means to him? But...that...

Her mind was a complete mess after San's words, trying to understand what exactly San meant by his words.

'San, I think...we should continue to the town.' She saw the disappointed look on his face, unfortunately she couldn't choose what he wished for. 'I...' She let out a heavy breath. This was so hard. 'Look, San. I promise we'll talk more about all of this once we're settled down and all, but I can't do this right now.'