Make a Wish | NamJin

10 | His Wish

When gently tearing at the top of the envelope, Jin slid his hand into it and out came a paper that read "Make A Wish" with an artistic font. However, the option to fill it in was left unwritten.

Inside of the envelope lay also two items. A small red heart and a light blue flower. The same flower from the back small, artificial bouquet that Jin had gotten Namjoon.

As Jin smiled at the card, the sun reflected against it and gave him a new perspective on it. There appeared to be words behind the piece of plain paper. From there, he started to read what was written on the back of the card.

"Dear Jin, sorry that I didn't wish you a goodnight when you left. No, they didn't take my phone away because of chemo, in case you were wondering that. Because as of today, it's my last day of chemotherapy.

I will no longer receive anymore painful treatments, nor drink a series of medications with odd names, too hard for doctors to even pronounce properly sometimes when being given to me, haha.

I'm also not hooked onto any sort of machinery anymore, so you probably won't see me walking around the hallway with a heart monitor beside me. My back can finally rest from carrying around that heavy oxygen tank, at least.

Now... When asked about what you want to wish for, most kids and teens would wish to see their idols, or to have a lifetime amount of lifeless toys to play with.

But while they wish for all sorts of different things, oftentimes wishing for more than one, in spite of their wish only being a single one...

I had three wishes. Remember how I told you that I would wish for three more wishes?

Well, that's what I was referring to. And the more I thought about those wishes, the more I came to realize how meaningless they would be in the end, because of my outcome..

1. I wished to go home and meet my parents. I had the option of going home yesterday, making wish number one come true, but what stopped it from becoming a reality? Me.

My parents hadn't seen me in almost ten days due to my strict isolation, and I wouldn't wish for them to see how their son's condition deteriorated in such a short amount of time.

Last time they saw me, I had more hair. I had more color in my skin, my eyes were brighter.

If my wish were to become a reality, and they were to see me... They would have seen me without hair, they would see how skinny I had gotten, how green and bluish veins were filling my face and head, and how pale, almost grayish my skin color now was.

That was something I wouldn't have wanted to put them through.

2. I wished to have a friend. This is where you come in.

Last week, I was given this paper. Originally, what I would have wished for would have been a friend, to feel less lonely during my isolation. The only friends I had were the nurses and doctors who kept me from growing lonely.

But then I came across your photos online. You had such a sweet smile and your laughter was so contagious... It made me laugh for the first time in a very long, long time.

And before I knew it, my second wish had come true. You and I became friends... In spite of me being a bother at first, and I'm sorry about burdening you, if I ever did so. But despite that happening, you became the only good friend I had and ever will have.

I then knew that rather I lived or passed away, that at least my wish of having a best friend came true, after a week of being alone for so long.

3. I wished for us. A dream so far-fetched that it was almost impossible... But you made my 'impossible' into a possible when surprising me at the hospital.

And yes, I still remember what you smell like as your scent stayed on my hospital bed for a little while after you left. But I also remember our time together and realized that, yet another one of my dreams turned into a reality.

And though I won't ever get to see my parents, friends, or family again... I got to see you.

You were more than my friend. You became a true soulmate to me and from now on, you'll always be one to me.

I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you about this earlier, I didn't want you to know that I was dying.

I wanted you to remember me as a person who admired the little things in life, such as the view from my hospital window that gave me peace after a long day of chemoradiation,

Not someone who was constantly talking about death, because that would depress us both and just because my cancer was killing me, doesn't mean it had to wear you down as well.

In reality, I feel closer to my end each passing day. The doctors said that I have a 43 percent survival rate against SCLC, of the 56 percentage that they give other patients. And even that 56 percentage is low, so mine is below average right now.

All that I can say is, Thank You. For staying with me until the end, and for giving me the chance to have the best weekend I could have ever had in my life.

Remember how I previously mentioned that the front of this page was left "unwritten"?

That's because I purposefully did this. So, in honor of our friendship, and what could have, a potential relationship... I give my wish to you.

And one last thing, if nurse Yeonu or Kimi told you about the ribbons by now, then you must know, but if not.. I'll tell you the meaning behind it.

Did you find the blue flower in the envelope? Beside it will be a red heart.

The flower represents me, and how blue I used to feel before we started talking. And the red heart signifies you and how your looks caught my attention, but your personality stole my heart and turned this grey shallowness within me into a colorful soul.

Lastly, the colors red and blue mixed up make the color purple, right? That's our symbol.

The color purple means that we'll always be together and keep this love alive, even if I've already departed from this world.

Because friends or lovers, you'll always hold a special place in my heart.

I'm no fan of farewells, my fussy little U-Know <3 so, this is why I decided to not leave in word "goodbye" in this letter as a conclusion. Because this is not goodbye, Jinnie. We'll meet again someday, I promise.

I love you, Jin ♥.

- Your Neptjoon, aka: Namjoon."

By the time Jin finished reading such a heart-wrenching, yet beautiful letter, he could only feel his stomach bounce within every sob that escaped his throat, tears dripping down the palm of his hands that were keeping his mouth shut out of the sad truth he was now faced with.

Namjoon was gone, but he took with him a part of Jin that would never return: His heart.

A heart that had been his all along, would now remain with the angel that Namjoon had become. All that the older boy could do was hold onto Yeonu and cry into his shirt as the nurse held him with unsteady hands.

"Jin," he sniffled. "Namjoon told me that he wanted you to have his wish. It was his last and final request before dying... I can give you a pen to write down what you want and give you some privacy to fill it out." Jin shook his head immediately and held the pen that Yeonu gave him in his hand.

"No, nurse Yeonu. I know exactly what I want to write." With his rapid heartbeats accompanying Jin's sorrow, the boy filled in the blank space that was left for him to write in. His final decision in what he wrote without hesitation left Yeonu in tears.

"Namjoon, I wish you were here." He then walked out of the hospital with his head down and headed home, unable to stay in the place that reminds him of who he just lost.

"We'll meet again one day. Wait for me, Joonie... I love you."

~THE END~