The Gruesome Death of Judge Judy

Chapter Nine: Yill

She had visited Jousha's house to show off her new boobs. He had seemed happy enough to see her despite the dark circles under his eyes.

"Good morning Yill! It's nice to see you!"

Yill had to look down on him like she looked down on everyone else. She had come over to his house for one reason and one reason only. She proudly walked breast first into his apartment.

"Look at my boobs!" She exclaimed, and Jousha's eyes fell so that they stared straight ahead.

"What about them?" He said quizzically.

Yill had to sigh. "They're bigger! I got implants so they would be giant. I can't believe you didn't notice this, Jousha! I know you're gay, but come on, it should be obvious. My boobs are like two rabbits now!"

"Oh." Jousha sounded tired.

"You sound tired. Have you been studying again? You keep on disappearing off to study lately. Why are you studying? Your classes aren't even hard."

"Yeah," Jousha responded. "I studied all night last night. I just want to make sure I, like, know it."

"You're so weird. You might even be the weirdest person I know. 'Yill, why am I the weirdest person you know' you're asking. But I have the receipts. In my mind." Yill had a lot to say to Jousha, but she took a second to note his room. He lived in a two-story apartment, and the first story had only a living room and a kitchen. The living room was sparsely decorated, so it was easy to take note of what was there. The TV on the wall was muted and playing Judge Judy. Yill felt a moment of revulsion before her eyes wandered to a book, opened to a page towards the end.

"What's the book about?" Yill inquired, not really caring.

"It's not very interesting." Jousha said slowly. "It's just a collection of magic spells. They're fake, obviously." He laughed like he was lying.

Yill looked closer at the book. "Reviving the dead? Of course that can't happen. Magic isn't real. I'm not five, you didn't need to clarify." Then she had an absolutely insane thought. "What if that's what happened to Ruth Bader Ginsburg! Someone brought her back from the dead!" She was proud of herself for that connection.

"You heard about that?" Jousha sounded concerned, like she wasn't supposed to have heard about something that was all over social media.

"How could I not hear about it? It's on everyone's Instagram story. She's not in her grave anymore, someone took her. But what if she pulled a Jesus?" Yill laughed.

There was a loud noise from upstairs. Jousha looked up.

"Do you know what that was?" Yill asked.

"It was probably the neighbors." Jousha said.

"On the second floor of your apartment?"

"There's another floor above that one." Jousha said. It obviously wasn't that.

"What if you have Ruth up there?" Yill joked.

Jousha was completely serious. "I don't. That's crazy."

This denial was delivered in such a way that made Yill think he might actually have the former Supreme Court Justice locked in his room. Maybe she had made the noise, trying to get Yill's attention to escape.
"It seems like you're hiding something."

"It's not Ruth Bader Ginsburg." Jousha said.

"So you are hiding something?"
Jousha hesitated then denied that he was hiding something. "I know you aren't hiding anything," he said. "You tell everyone everything."

"I do." Yill concurred. She was only hiding a murder plot and the true purpose of her boobs, which didn't really count.

-------------------------------------------------------

Three days later, Yill walked up to the grave with the new confidence her bulging decha had given her. She looked at the name on the gravestone and smiled. Stan Lee had been dead, but he wouldn't be for much longer. She smiled, knelt next to the grave, lit three candles, and pulled out her phone. When Jousha had left to get something from the kitchen, she snapped pictures of relevant book pages. If Ruth Bader Ginsburg could be revived, why not Stan Lee? At least he wasn't anti-indigenous.

The book had taken her to this cemetery, casting a spell to revive Stan Lee. She saw some shadows moving, which she figured was par for the course when casting a spell. It has been a few days since her visit to Jousha's house, which was enough time for her to gaslight herself into thinking she was crazy for this idea. But Yill knew she was sane. Probably more sane than anyone else she knew.
Yill completed the spell to bring back Stan Lee, and found herself face to face with the movie director. He looked her up and down.

"Fuck you, Big Boobs." He sounded like he hated her. That was impossible. Nobody hated Yill.