Switches & Spices

Chapter Twelve

"What if I wanted you to like it too much, Izumi?"

A hint of a teasing smile on his lips, though his voice had dropped to an intimate whisper, his hand reaching to delicately cup my cheek. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, letting it out in a quivering sigh at the warm contact, blinking slowly as my body heated up.

Did he really just say that? I tried to see any lies in his crimson eyes, the level stare back to my ocean blue unwavering. I leaned into his hand just a little, eyes unfocusing a little with the warmth. That cinnamon and earth scent, just an edge of it from his contact.

"But why though? We just met Eijiro, and..." I was reeling, unable to break eye contact with him, his quiet chuckle slipping out as his thumb shifted, slowly brushing against my cheek in tender care. My cheeks heated up more, a shallow breath sucked in; biting back a whine as he pushed himself back to let me breathe, his hand dropping from my cheek as he stood straight.

Fuck, my body was humming. She needed to calm the fuck down. Goddamn.

"I'm not quite sure myself, Izu. Though the ups and downs yesterday, the comfort and care you gave me, the honesty... I was thinking it was me liking Cerulean Wing in person, but after a while, you shone through, past your wings and everything. I could see the shift. Not your defenses. The you, behind the persona you've had to take on to survive. I want to see more of it, you know?" He smiled again, the tension in the minute slightly lifting. My phone beeped at me, but I ignored it for the moment.

"I'm not saying you hafta do anything you don't want. But I'd like to spend more time with you, if that's cool. Outside of patrols. Don't think you have to agree right away or anything, I know it's sudden! Even if it's just as friends, I..." He seemed to hesitate, his confidence from before dissolving away with my uncertainty, his eyes dropping to the floor as he kneaded into the back of his neck.

He was sincere in asking, and I was stunned. He was really seeing me for more than these wings, my mask? My heart was aching as I almost felt tears pooling at the seemingly tiny gesture to others. So few bothered to do so. Even as mere friends. Then again, it wasn't as if I had wanted to be vulnerable with many.

Did I want this? I did, didn't I? I wanted more than what we had experienced together already, wanting more of that soft care that he so freely seemed to give. Or was that all just me being a selfish ass? What kind of expectations would there be? There were always some kind of expectations in my past relationships, toxic bullshit, but... This was Eijiro.

Silence stretched for a minute, and I finally forced my lips to part, needing to voice my own feelings. Please don't let this be a mistake. Please don't make me regret this. My heart was aching, tension through the roof. Don't let me lose a friend somehow, please.

"Eijiro-"

"Pizza's heeeeeere! Let's eat up!" Mana's voice suddenly split the tension and slammed reality back into our conversation, making me sharply flinch and gasp as my heart suddenly jackhammered in my chest, a bit of an uneven breath escaping. My gaze shot to where she stood in the doorway, seeing her just walking in, oblivious to the moment. No teasing smirk or thoughts directed at me whatsoever. I gripped a hand over my heart, struggling to control the racing. It would have to wait then since we weren't alone.

"Smells great, thanks Shu!" Eijiro's face had brightened again, any obvious signs of nervousness gone, though I could tell it was strained. I really should've just agreed on the spot, instead of trying to work through my own feelings. That face he wore now; I could see it was a mask, hastily drawn on his features to hide behind. His kindness itself wasn't a mask, but he seemed too used to bottling things up, like me. To make others happy?