Mistaken (Epistolary | Revising)

Mistaken 39.0

February 12, 2017, Sunday

12:01 a.m.

Astrid:

You know I sometimes wonder, why should I let you explain your side to me? I don't care about you. You're not my friend. You're not an important person to me at all. In my eyes, you'll always be the person who bullied me when I was a kid.

Then you did this. Mas lalong pumangit ang imahe mo sa 'kin. Ikaw yung nanloko eh. 'Di lang ako nag-assume na ikaw yung taong gusto kong makausap. Nagpanggap ka mismo bilang siya. Pinagmukha mo 'kong tanga. Ilang weeks mo 'ko ginago kaya di mo rin ako masisisi kung bakit ayaw kita kausap

Unknown Number:

Do u want me to call u because i deserve to be yelled at

Astrid:

I hate you. I hate you so much. Actually, I loathe you

Pero bakit gusto ko pa ring malaman side mo? What do I want to know? Why do I need to know? Gusto ko lang namang magalit sayo. Gusto ko lang munang magalit kasi iyon ang nararamdaman ko. Pero tama ka, mas okay nga na malaman ko na ngayon para isang bagsakan na lang.

So kung ano man ang gusto mong sabihin, i-type mo na lahat. But promise me that after that, you're not gonna talk to me again and you're gonna stay away from me for the rest of your life.

Unknown Number:

I dont want to promise u that

Astrid:

You don't have a choice.

Unknown Number:

I like u Astrid. Hindi ko ginawa yun para manggago lang

If u want to know kung may meaning ung conversation natin nung nagpapanggap ako, oo may meaning un para sakin

I did not only flirt with u for nothing. I did not only reply for nothing. I did not only continue pretending for nothing

I tried to get away, believe me i tried. On some ocassions i did not reply

But i still want to talk to u. I still want to be close with you. Why? Because talking with u is my daily dose of happy pill

You make my day, thats why I couldnt stop talking with you

And this is the only way i can talk to u. This is the only bridge so we can communicate. Im afraid of losing this bridge coz i dont want to stop talking with u

Heck i sometimes forget in ur mind i am that nerd. But u have to believe me. U are talking to the real me. I only made u believe i was the guy u want to talk to but those are still my words. Hindi kita ginago lang. Gusto kita kausapin kasi gusto kita

I only chose the wrong way to talk to u and i deserve all the hatred ur gonna give me but i just want u to know that i didnt just fool around

Im stupid enough to think this is the only way to talk to u. I was wrong and im rly rly sorry

Im sorry for putting u in this situation. U dont deserve where i put u into. I deserve all the hate

Astrid:

Is that all you want me to know?

Unknown Number:

Im not done yet

Im also sorry for bullying u when we were young. I was a kid who didnt understand how he feel and didnt know how to express his own feelings back then

So i bullied the girl i like for the sake of getting her attention. I did get her attention but she hated me for it

And i did it again. She hated me more now than she used to

But the thing here is. Gusto ko lang makabawi sayo. I dont want us to be friends either. And i know it is impossible given our current situation but Astrid i want us to be more

I have fallen harder Astrid. If before that was just a simple crush. Its different now. Mas matindi ung ngayon. Alam ko un kasi naiintindihan ko na kung ano nararamdaman ko ngayon

But I cant have it all can i? Wanting to have u + wanting to receive ur forgiveness

So im choosing the latter. Mas importante sakin na mapatawad mo ko kaysa ung want ko na gustuhin mo rin ako. I cant be too selfish. I already tried and where did i get myself into

I actually want to tell u this in person kaya ako nakikipagkita sayo before but u found it out urself first and this is all happening to us now

I cant go back in time to correct what i did but im willing to do everything to show u how sincere i am

Astrid:

Done?

Unknown Number:

But what ur asking me now... That is suicide to me. I can promise that i wont talk to u for months or years but dont ask me to stay away from u for the rest of my life

That is just too much to ask Astrid. Too much for me

Read 12:09 a.m.

-

1:02 a.m.

Unknown Number:

Good night Astrid. Ingat sa klase bukas

Read 1:03 a.m.