At The End, It's You. (Slow Updates)

Freedom Pt 2

At The End, It's You.

"I think the scariest part was that we didn't even have to be together for my heart to break"

"I can see you really loved him, so much so that from our conversations, you loved him that much that you don't seem to hate him for breaking your heart"

"How can I? How can I hate a person that made me feel like everything was gonna work out fine? People make mistakes, even the people we love, I guess you're right in some way though, I don't think I could ever hate him, no matter what he does, I can't hate him."

Cody's POV:

I wish he was a ghost. I wish I hadn't seen him. All I remember is at one point dreaming of him, and then suddenly my eyes opening and seeing his face as he walked past the practice room, his head looking towards the floor and my heart felt like it was going to shatter. I love him and I haven't stopped since I started and yet, I feel as though I should run away before my heart becomes ruined and can't ever be fixed. But at the same time, for me, I think I prefer my heart to be broken than for it to have never been affected, because at least I can say I experienced love, and now I have the lovely, dawn-kaleidoscope shining through the cracks in my heart instead.

I know he wasn't supposed to ever mean as much as he did to me, I was never supposed to fall so hard. But I just couldn't help myself. And I think the fact I did is the reason as to why I can't let go, because I know it will hurt like hell if I allow it to happen.

But I'm a coward.

I can't help but feel nauseous thinking about speaking to you, being held by you, being loved by you. It's all I've wanted since you left, constantly wanting your presence around for the past three years and yet now I'm faced with it. I know that I can't face you. It's scary. I'm not used to love. And so instead of doing what I want; running to you, I'll take the route of running away. It may be the hardest thing for me to do at this point in time, but it's safer.

So I quickly tapped Erin on the shoulder and got us into an elevator, despite all of her and Toby's questions on the way there.

As soon as we got into the elevator though, it became hard to concentrate, all I was thinking about was if we were gonna be able to get out unnoticed by any of them, I was sure if Yoongi was here then the other 6 would be too, and I didn't want Erin and Toby to suffer knowing that.

I wanted us to just get away from the nightmare I was sure I was having and or living in. Three years, you'd think you'd never see them again, you'd think you'd forget about it, move on but no. I suppose living with them and nearly dying together does something, suppose it's the shared trauma, whatever it is it's kept it's hold for long enough and now I just want to get back to the apartment.

I aimlessly pressed buttons on the panel, despite Erin telling me it wouldn't work, I knew it wouldn't speed the elevator up either but it gave me a release for my anxiety that was creeping up. Maybe the stairs would have been quicker, too late to see now though, right now all we need to do is get out without seeing them.

It should be easy right? I mean the building is massive so there's only a small chance of running into them but I'm sure we won't, my main mission right now is to get Erin out of here. As much as I want to get out, I'm more afraid of Erin's reaction. I don't think she'll scream or cry but instead put the last brick up in the wall she's been rebuilding since Taehyung knocked it down.