Broken as Me- Volume One

Chapter Three The Pain

I felt so broken inside. It was as if my heart was completely crushed and at the point of our falling, I didn't feel any emotion. Not one. I didn't feel sad, angry, hurt, or betrayed. I simply felt nothing. He told me that within a week at most, he was going to break, he was going to end it with me. So I decided to tell him,"Just go ahead. I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm strong. End it." And he did. We were officially over, and I didn't feel anything. I thought there was something wrong with me, since I was just dumped and didn't feel crushed, but then all the emotion came when he said,"I have to do homework. Gotta go." And then I broke. I said,"Okay, laterz", but as soon as I pressed send I thought Ohmgee we're over. It's gone. Did he even love me? Why am I not enough? And then came my emotions. Hatred, sadness, hurt. They were all there and I started bawling! The harder I tried to keep my tears from falling the faster they came and it seemed like they would never stop. I curled up into a ball on my bed and felt myself shake with each horrible thought that I was throwing at myself. You know why he doesn't want you. You're fat. You're stupid. You'll never be good enough for him or any other person on this world. You'll never be loved. You'll always be too fat, too ugly, and too scarred. I was putting myself down, and even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn't stop. So I hurt myself. I pulled apart a pencil sharpener, took the blade out, and cut myself.
(Yes, the picture for this chapter is my wrist)