Broken as Me- Volume One

Chapter Four Regret&Saviours

I knew I wasn't helping anything, and I knew I shouldn't, but I felt like I had no one. I felt like the only person who really cared about me was... Well, me. So, I cut and then cried and felt so alone. I felt like if I were to die, right then and there, I wouldn't be missed by a single soul, and I almost committed suicide. But then I told myself, You're a big sister. How can you leave them like this? Just because you're hurt doesn't mean you get to go and kill yourself. What would sissy think?
How would she react to hearing of her older sister's, her ONLY sister's, death from Facebook? She would hurt. Get yourself up and pull yourself together. Dry those tears!
And I did. I got up off my bed, put on a straight face, swallowed the rest of my tears, and dried my face. I then talked to my sister, letting her know what had happened, along with my other closest friends. They all helped me feel better, and when I told one of my closest besties that I almost killed myself over this guy, she told me,"No! CyCy! He's a fucking tampon. Don't listen to him! If you ever, ever killed yourself. I would cry so much. I'm crying as I'm typing this message." (I laughed a little at the calling him a tampon) And this was on snapchat so she sent a picture after she sent me that long sentence and she was crying!
I realized how much I would be missed and decided that everything was going to be ok. And I was right. Everything was ok... For a little while.
**I am not saying that cutting is ok, because it is NOT but I will not judge you for ever cutting and if you ever feel alone or feel like cutting you should absolutely SPEAK UP! A friend can help, and if you don't have any friends... I AM HERE FOR EVERYBODY!! :* Any questions? Comment! Need a friend? Inbox me!! Thanks for listening to my story!! ^.~ :*