If I Knew Then

Need The Sun To Break

By Absent Heart

I would have loved longer to work on this Chapter, it feels so rushed and unfinished but I wanted desperately to get it out, and not have anyone think I had abandoned the story.

Anyway thank you so much to those that reviewed the last chapter, it means so much, I really do appreciate them, and sincerely hope I still have readers left to leave them...This is the last of the kind of introductory chapters ... So please Read, Enjoy and Review!

Need The Sun To Break

For the second morning running Carolyn Shepherd came downstairs a little before five am to find Meredith huddled in her dressing gown at the kitchen table. Unlike yesterday though Meredith wasn't aware of her presence, meaning there was no sudden change of expression, or ready excuses about time difference, and internal clocks to greet her. This morning instead she was given full access to the turmoil written over the beautiful face she knew so well.

For a split second she considered whether it would be best to go back upstairs, rather than intrude on the solitude Meredith had obviously been seeking, to give the space Michael had said both Meredith and Derek needed. Nevertheless Carolyn found as much as she thought she should, she couldn't bring herself to turn away from the girl who she had always thought of as one of her own when she was in such obvious distress.

When her husband last night had finally told her what he had suspected for a long time, and had had partially confirmed by their son at the family dinner Carolyn had felt the past two years or so shift into place with a resounding click. It made such perfect sense that she still couldn't believe it had never crossed her mind before. Laid awake long after Michael had fallen asleep, she had found herself going over the past, searching for any clues she might have missed, and to her dismay they had all been there.

Her only condolence was nearly every single one could be explained innocently away by the bond Derek and Meredith had always shared. A closeness they had all become so used too, had long ago assumed though far deeper than sibling like, was far from romantic that they had missed the changes at it's very core. Even the final fall out between them wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. Two very different personalities, spending so much time together over the years had lead to similar conflicts. Derek's temper was notorious, and Meredith herself had never been one to back down from a fight.

Now blessed with hindsight Carolyn was able to see the vital differences this time around, all the little missed tell-tale signs of a lovers quarrel stood out in vivid colour. Everyone had known neither Derek or Rebecca were happy, the whole family had been aware of the problems between the couple before the ink was dry on the marriage license.

It was no excuse for adultery, but Carolyn could see how naturally he would have turned to Meredith. How easily it would be for any repressed feelings to come to the surface, because life wasn't just black or white, right or wrong, there was always the area in between, and good people made mistakes especially in the name of love. What she couldn't understand was how Derek of all people had let it get so out of hand that it had caused Meredith to flee to the over side of the country to escape.

Michael had made her promise to not interfere or to breathe a word that she had some inkling of what had gone on, but that vow was seeming impossible to keep with Meredith in front of her like this. Not only did the overall upheaval of the last two years now make sense, but so did the behaviour of the women in front of her. Meredith hadn't been holding them at arms length in retaliation of being hurt as they had suspected, she was now certain it was done because Meredith had expected them to reject her if the affair came to light.