"Just Friends"

10

I've been feeling a little unproductive so this chapter is a wee bit shorter than normal but I still wanted to post something for you guys ❤️
Thank you for all the love and support! Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~
(1969 words)

Calvin gently wiped the blood from his hand and face, gently pressing the ice pack to his face afterwards. We sat on the couch in his living room together, it was quiet in the flat so I assumed Aaron was out or asleep. The room was mostly dark, the lights low and casting a dim orange glow around us, throwing shadows across Calvin's face. The position of our bodies soaked my brain in thoughts I didn't want and didn't care for. Just far enough to not touch, just close enough to feel the other there, balancing precariously on a tightrope. If I only moved slightly, my knee would brush past his.

"I'm sorry he punched you," I said.

"I'm not. I deserved it."

"Cal-"

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened. Jake was right, it's all been my fault." He slumped back into the couch. I took a shaky breath.

"Stop it with this bullshit." I said.

"I'm serious I-"

"No. I'm not here to comfort you and tell you none of this was on you. You hurt me really badly, Calvin. You told me you kissed me just because I was there, just because I was drunk and you were horny. Like you didn't care about me at all after everything we've been through." As I spoke, my throat quickly became raw and sore.

"I know."

"Do you? You're playing the victim now that the consequences have found you." I told him. He frowned at me and put down the frozen packet. "You didn't take advantage of me, you were the one who stopped things and left. What you did do was block me and ignore me and shut me out and break my heart."

His eyes darted down like a scolded child, certainly knowing I was right. I was shaking with anticipation and uncertainty as a nervous feeling knotted its way around my stomach. Calvin reached out to me and took my hand. I let him. It warmed me like hot running water on an early winter morning. Deep in thought, he bit his lip and squeezed my hand ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry." His eyes met mine again. "I shouldn't have said what I said to you, it was cruel. I shouldn't have shut you out and I- I probably... I probably shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. Nothing I've done the past few weeks was okay, including making myself into the victim."
His other hand still rested on his lap, letting the ice melt and not tending to his injury. I softly took his hand back to his bruised face and held it there to ensure it stayed.

"Thank you," I said, tears welling in my eyes. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry everything ended up this way."

"Yeah, and I don't expect everything to be fixed immediately, I figure we'll all need time to heal." He grimaced.

It made me laugh a little, despite myself. "Your eye will also need time to heal." His grimace turned to a stifled grin

"We aren't supposed to be making jokes, this is serious time. You're ruining the mood." Calvin said, pushing down a bigger smile.

"I didn't really like the mood anyway." I said, moving his hand to hold the ice pack to the bruise lower on his cheek. What a ridiculous time I was having, tending to the injury Calvin got because someone else found out he'd treated me poorly.

"I didn't like it either. I've missed your smile, the little one you make when I've done something funny or stupid." He released my hand not holding the ice. I'd heard him tell his friends how much he liked my smile.

~~"The night of Ally and Jake's party? The things I said? I meant them. And, and everything is so weird and awful without you."~~~

Back to being friends, nothing more. It would take some time to feel completely normal but it was a start.