Boomerang (A Short Story)

VII. I Can't Blame You

Tru

"Kemi," she hums in response, picking up a hoodie I used to wear religiously the year we became acquainted, "you wanna hit?"

She puts the hoodie down before walking up to me and standing in between my legs. I exhale smoke as I put my free hand on her waist. Our eye contact is intense for obvious reasons, and I can tell the information about my mom, Miracle, and what I said has made her more confident about the situation.

"You or the blunt?"

It takes me a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. She continues to catch me off guard, so much that I have to take a drag before I can even think of a response. She has no idea of the things I'd do in the event she would consent. Fuck me being all in her head, my head would be in her.

"I was talking about the blunt, but it seems you have other things in mind."

All I get as a response is a smirk before she takes the blunt out of my hand and hits it. I pull her down on my lap because I think it's time we have the official talk about what happened in the past and how we're moving forward in the future.

However before I can even get my thoughts together, she leans in close to my face and I already know what she's insinuating. Our lips brush each other as she shotguns me. All thoughts and sense of reasoning leaves me when I kiss her despite the smoke escaping our lips. She kisses me back instantly and it's different from the first one. It isn't hungry or rushed, it's gentle and meaningful. Having her this close and on me, kissing me, I can't miss the opportunity to feel her up a little bit. My hand automatically goes to her ass as a safety precaution so she wouldn't fall out of my lap or anything like that.

After moments pass, Kemi breaks the kiss before she takes another drag of the blunt and smiles. She hands me back the blunt and her hands go to my shoulders.

"I wanna talk to you about something." She nods as a cue for me to go on with what I want to say.

"I hurt you in the past and I want to do everything to make it up to you Kemi."

"Make it up how?"

"I wanna be with you."

I can't tell the expression on her face. It's not disbelief or irritation, it's just something I can't read. Not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either.

"You just got out of a relationship today," her voice is borderline monotone. Like to hide her emotions it just goes to a default tone.

"So? You heard what I said, I ain't going nowhere. I can wait for whenever you're ready."

She sighs and gets up from my lap. Disappointment in how this is already going is starting to creep up and start to feel like it's entirely too late. I missed the opportunity to have the girl that makes me smile.

"I'm ready Tru. I've been ready from the jump. I put up little to no fight with my feelings for you. It was quick when I accepted I want you. I was waiting on you to accept it too. But I don't know. This doesn't seem real to me. Like a dream that feels too real at first but then you wake up and that shit might as well had been a nightmare."

Her words are cordial. She's trying to be as little confrontational as possible, almost like these are words she recited for when the time came. And I admire her for that because the last thing I want to do with her is argue or be angry.

"Kemi, it is real. I want you, like you don't even know. We just kissed for the second time today, and what, you think they didn't mean something to me or that it was fake and I'm playing with you? Look I'm sorry I know I fucked up, but I'm ready too. It took me so fucking long to realize nobody makes me feel the way you do. You make me smile just with the little shit you do. I was a boy back then, Kemi. Even if I had come to the realization that it's only you, I probably still would've hurt you. I was immature and didn't think anyone would care about me like you do. But I'm older, I understand, and now I can appreciate you and what you're worth. And that's everything. If I'm too late, I understand that too. But something that we both can't and won't ignore is the fact that I have feelings that run deep for you. Now whatever happens is up to you." I finish my spiel with a drag from the blunt because I'm feeling anxious as fuck. If she turns around and pulls a me on me, I wouldn't even blame her. Karma's a bitch, and it would be coming to me.