Disapproval
They look down at me with disappointment
Like I had dropped a bomb on the capital
Like a rash with no remedy ointment
While music that is blaring with words
That are worse and I shouldn't say
And they don't give any flying birds
But when I suggest a song that just may
Inspire youth
And to tell you the truth
They ask to turn it down
They didn't even ask
They said it so fast it was threatening
When just a moment before
It was blasting drugs and sex and alcohol
And it's like my aspiration meant nothing at all
Like they blocked it out
But when the mood changed
They tuned in
And to insult me
Dressing as a guy
It just means I'm not shy
I could be getting high
Every Saturday night
Or screwing everyone in sight
But I'm not
I'm just changing how I look
Everyone else accepts me
Why can't my family see
So high on Mary J
So high on expectations
They can't see that my reality
Is crushing me
My morality
Is cussing me
And I'm grasping for a hand
From family not a friend
When family doesn't accept
The me I want to be
I feel decrepit and
I feel alone
In a home
With drunken teens
Riding high in there youthful years
And somber adults
With responsibility up the nose
It almost brings me to tears
Why am I the odd one?
Why can't they respect my choices?
And my presence gets smaller
As there's a rise in their voices
Judging every inch
Scrutinizing to a pinch
Do they want me to be something I'm not?
I do it almost every day
Do they even have an intelligent thought?
It doesn't matter I could fade away
They probably wouldn't notice
That odd girl they once had
Was stuck feeling so sad
She just let herself go to waste
With absolutely no haste
Because no blood would understand
All she wanted was a reassuring hand
To grip
When she'd trip
And fall on her face
Yet they look at her in disgrace
I know they'll love me
But they hardly tolerate
The things I do
The person I am
I know they don't give a damn
But I want their acceptance
I want to have a chance
So laid back chill how I appear
Inside I'm screaming
Loneliness my only fear
They make me feel like I'm fending
For myself
Like a child in the streets
They make me sit in silence
As I stay introverted
Inside I lie inert
Knowing that I'm in constant pain
Simply because of my own name
I just want it to be over
To have some final closure
I want to escape
Please let me escape
These horrid bonds
I'd quickly abscond
Away from this home
Where even in that crowded room
I felt completely alone
So struck in gloom
I wanted someone to hold me
Someone who wouldn't scold me
Constantly being freakishly cold
This life gets excruciatingly old
So rapidly
I can't even think
I instantly begin to sink
Out of the room
As they still look over at me
In worried
Disapproval
