Are no good excuses for things that make people weird
like being a woman and feeling like growing a beard
so when feeling in love with someone
makes me feel like i am no one
to them
so i lift my long dress' hem
and walk sadly away
as if i was never around that day
and i feel like
nothing is real like
i could jump off a cliff
and then become a stiff
like nothing really mattered
my lifeline would become tattered
and i feel like not too many people would care
as if i was never really there
so i don't like to feel
anything truly real
'cause when i think that i do
something happens and they never had a clue
how much it killed me
but i'm glad they wouldn't see
how long i would die
so i will sit there and sigh
until i have to fake my smiles
so i can keep them satisfied for miles
and feelings are stupid
and i know what i did
but nothing goes the way i wish
i might as well be a rotting fish
in the middle of a shark tank
cause you made my heart sank
i stop trying to really truly feel
especially things that appeal
to my inner happiness and
i know that everything will end
opposite the way
that i want them to stay
everyday feels like a daze
living in a legitimate haze
and i just want to cry
i wish i could fly
away from this land
'cause i can't stand
to keep up this lie
about wanting to die
so i can grin
but it will feel like a sin
and i will laugh
but it will only be half
of what a normal person does
and now just because
i won't smile as much
or i won't laugh and such
doesn't mean i'm sad
it doesn't make me mad
i just don't feel like being me
and i wish that someone could see
how death is my escape away
from my boring life day to day
and i want to escape my life
with a swift jab of a knife
knowing my future isn't as bright
even if i had it in sight
because that's not where i'm living
because i'm still just quiv'ring
in this world i am forced to call my life
and i know i'll never be a good wife
'cause this world has nothing for me
and i see how worthless i can really be
so the longer you read this
the longer you heed this
you can't help but feel sorry
because that is a mortal folly
feelings are too much for me
and i just want to be free
from the heartache that you
gave to me without a clue
and i feel like i could just walk down to hell
and then i could just yell
how fucked-up my feelings are
then i'll be too far
that you won't hear
my feelings about you, my dear
no matter about all the i love you's
and i could never choose
between my two loves
like mismatched gloves
so i will bottle it all
and just let myself freefall
off of the earth
the place of my birth
and i will watch everything slip away
as i watch you stay
and i'll watch you say
i love you i miss you
and i will too
but no one would know
how far away i'd go
so as i fall deeper into this abyss
i see a small light in the growing darkness
then i see two
and then a few
and i realize
that i really died
and your love was true
and there was nothing i could do
i float aimlessly away
as you continue to stay
and my feelings are still strong
even if some of them are wrong
i could try to make this a melody
all about you and me
but it wouldn't end the way i want this
and i will try to be dauntless
but my fear would only grow
as the endless midnight crow
harvests my soul and heart
and we grow apart
so now everyone will see
what i think of me
and i will tell them
everything will come to an end
