Mixed Messages

Tears for him

"So how long do you plan on keeping this all a secret? It's been weeks now," Macy asks.

"It's up to him, he has more to lose than I do by everyone finding out," I explain to her for the umpteenth time, keeping the parts about Charlie's insecurities and cowardice out. Because that's the real reason, he is scared.

"I would have thought you were worth that risk to him," she says, repeating the same words she has said for weeks and the same thoughts that have started swirling in my head.

Being with Charlie is everything. When it's just us. But when we are at school, it's like I don't exist. He always, always apologises later or sends me a cute text. But the longer this goes on, the harder it's getting. I'm not sure I like being kept a secret, especially when I'm continuously subjected to other girls fawning over him.

Before I can answer Macy, the doors swing open and like my great stand never happened, ACE walk down the hallway, surrounded by the team and groupies alike.

Except the great stand did happen, and the rest of the hall doesn't stop to watch anymore. When Asher gets closer to Macy and I, he shoots me a death stare. A look that's filled with hatred and disgust.

I ignore Asher and can't help but let my eyes drift to Charlie next to him, I have to look twice when I see Layla Jones, one of the twins, has her hand tucked in his and is looking up at him with her big doe eyes.

I can't hide the hurt on my face and I know Charlie see's it when he looks me in the eye and gives a little head shake. I'm sure he is trying to tell me it isn't what it looks like. But what else can it be? Sure he doesn't want to tell them about us, but this is a step too far.

I turn away from them quickly, but not before glancing at Asher, who with the smug grin on his face, I know he saw exactly what just transpired between Charlie and I. He must have either already known about us, or he does now.

"Maybe it won't matter anymore," I mutter to Macy, grabbing my bag and walking down the hall in the opposite direction of everyone, towards home room.

I can hear Macy calling after me, but I need to keep going to hold back the tears. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I'm sure it's Charlie, but I can't look at it right now.

As I'm walking fast with my head down I'm caught by two arms.

"Hey, where you rushing off to so fast?" Nate says, holding my arms.

I look up at him, he is standing with Caden, both looking concerned. I just shake my head as the first tear falls, shrug him off and hurry away.  

Instead of home room I crash into the nearest female bathroom and lock myself in a stall. Once I'm alone, the tears and sobs don't stop. I wipe at my eyes with my sleeve, but it's not enough. They just keep falling.

This is why he didn't want to tell anyone about us. Has everything been a lie this whole time, a game? Maybe this was all part of the revenge plan from Asher, the grand finale and Charlie just played along like the pawn that he is.

Stupid. I'm so, so stupid. I fell for everything and I've let my heart get stomped on.

I hear the bathroom door burst open and cover my mouth to stifle the sound of my cry. The sound of heels clicking against the floor means it is probably some of the cheerleaders. Great.

"Did you see Charlie hold Layla's hand this morning?" The first voice gushed as my heartbeat faster hearing them talk about Charlie.

"Yes!! She has liked him forever! I heard he might ask her to homecoming. You know there were rumours he has been seeing someone, maybe it's Layla."

"Oh they would be so cute together! I'm so shipping them!"

The girls must have finished touching up their make up as they left just as quickly as they entered. Their conversation not easing anything inside of me or the thoughts running through my mind. My stomach is in knots.

Outside the bathroom the first bell went, signalling I was now late for home room, but it also meant that everyone would be in their classrooms and the halls empty.

I walked out of the stall, seeing my tear streaked and already puffy face in the mirror. I splashed my face with water and groaned at my reflection.  When did I become the girl who cries over a boy in the bathroom.

I guess when that boy is Charlie. The Charlie I thought I knew wouldn't do this, but he has. I saw it with my own eyes.

Deciding I couldn't face the rest of today, I grabbed my bag and quickly skipped out, darting to my car to leave school before anyone could see me.

I drove around aimlessly for a bit before ending up in the parking lot of the playground that Charlie and I came to as kids and where he brought me a few weeks ago. Obviously because I'm a glutton for punishment.

Finally I pulled my phone out to see a few text messages. One from Nate, the rest from Charlie.

I quickly text Nate back, telling him I've ditched the day and not to worry. Then I opened Charlie's.

Charlie- That wasn't what it looks like I promise. I'll explain it all to you.

Charlie- Where are you? I waited outside your home room.

Charlie- please don't ignore me Hayley. Tell me where you are and I'll meet you.

I did ignore him. I wasn't ready to hear his excuses and I'm not sure I would believe any of it anyway. It's not like he has made me his girlfriend anyway, I was just his secret, so maybe it's better this way.