To Try Our Souls: PART I OF 'TO CURSE THE DARKNESS' (Kylo x Reader)

Complications

Through a sleepy haze, I heard my combadge buzzing insistently and I panicked it would wake my patient, but I needn't have worried. The bed was empty and I could see the light on in the refresher room though the slightly cracked door.

"Sharva here," I responded.

"Lieutenant Sharva, where are you?" barked Captain Dentley, my commanding officer.

As I looked around at the quarters which were now more brightly lit in day mode, I replied in a half-whisper, "I'm in the quarters of Kylo Ren."

"Well, what in the Moons of Moldour are you doing there?" he demanded.

Hesitant to say more than what was necessary to keep me out of trouble, I scrambled for an explanation. "I was assigned to him by General Hux. There were some medical... developments... that took place yesterday, which I am not privy to divulge."

Silence greeted me from the other end of the com unit as I saw the light in the refresher room go out. I wanted to see to my patient and took that as a chance to escape the conversation.

"Captain Dentley, I have to check on my patient. I will return to the med bay for duty as soon as practicably possible and will keep you updated in the meantime. I'm sorry this has inconvenienced you."

His reply was curt. "Very well, Sharva, but I expect a full explanation upon your return."

"Yes, sir," I said, too tired to argue with him over what I would or would not be able to tell him.

As the com unit cut out, Kylo Ren appeared at the door of the refresher room wearing a towel around his waist, for which I was grateful. He appeared pale and disoriented and I was terrified he would pass out and I wouldn't be able to get his hulking form off the floor.

"Sir, stay there, please!" I begged him as I raced across the room.

"I'm fine," he said as he waved me away. I was accustomed to my patients obeying me unquestioningly owing to their indoctrination, but I knew he was going to be a hard case and I doubted I had the wherewithal to deal with a stubborn, argumentative patient. I attempted the straightforward approach instead.

"Sir, I would greatly appreciate it if you would not put me in a position of being disciplined for failing to effectively maintain your health while you're in my care," I pleaded, raising my eyebrows expectantly.

My entreaties seemed to bring him to a moment of clarity and he assented begrudgingly, allowing me to support him on my arm back to the bed. Once settled in, I checked his sutures which appeared to have held up well overnight.

"Your wounds look good," I observed. "I'm just going to apply some topical bacta so we can speed up the healing and hopefully avoid any scars."

He nodded silently and laid out straighter on his mattress so I could reach all of him. It was in the artificial daylight of the quarters that I could now more fully appreciate his exquisite form. Had our bio-engineers built a man, they could not have formed a more perfect being. However, Kylo Ren wasn't perfect – he was imperfect but in a way that was pleasing to the eye, that made him more real. From the asymmetry of his abdominal muscling to the aquiline nose that looked like it had been borrowed from an ancestor, an admirer found something uniquely interesting to appreciate at every curve, joint and feature, but all of which blended together in a perfect symphony of attractiveness. As I applied the bacta liquid to his wounds as gently as I could, he watched me carefully, perhaps not fully trusting, perhaps curious.

"The bacta is a biological treatment with regenerative propertiesꟷ"

"I know what bacta is," he interrupted gently, the deep baritone of his voice resounding in the spartan room.