To Try Our Souls: PART I OF 'TO CURSE THE DARKNESS' (Kylo x Reader)

Futility

Claxons were blaring again, this time bringing in the wounded from our latest encounter with the Resistance scum who tried to hide on D'Qar. All hands had been lost on the massive Seige Dreadnought, though a few escape shuttles had managed to break free before the gargantuan ship was destroyed. Our medbay was, again, at maximum capacity and teeming with wounded.

Dentley, Meech and I, along with a handful of other staff and meddroids patched, sutured, salved and wrapped every wound, fracture and amputation we could for the better part of the afternoon and evening. I realized I'd neglected the patient with the ocular fracture and missed the check-up on Kylo's grafts, but with everyone triaged and stable, I moved back to my assignment list.

I found Patient JB-2789 in his own quarters, where he'd been moved to make room for the wounded. After bringing him back to the medbay where we utilized the surgical suite, I escorted him back to his quarters before heading back to Kylo Ren's.

It was very late, and I realized when I arrived that I'd forgotten to have Dentley lock out my medical override. I wavered over whether to just let myself in so I could check on him while he slept, possibly incurring his wrath should he awaken and find I'd let myself in without permission, or to ring the door and waken him and risk dealing with his anger over that. I tried for the easy route, swiping my pass key over the pad and stepping inside the blackness of his room. I could hear him breathing evenly as I crept to his bedside. He was still naked, so I had little trouble checking the grafts on his face and shoulder. His side, however, was a bit trickier, and as I carefully lifted the sheet, a hand shot out and twisted my arm behind my back, another wrapped in my hair as I was shoved face down toward the floor, my forehead heading straight for the basalt tile at full speed...

My face stopped a fraction of space from the floor, so close I could see my breath, now coming rapidly, as it fogged up the shiny surface of the cold tile. Kylo's hand remained gripped in my coif, his fingers entangled in my auburn strands.

"P-please," I begged, "let go, I just came to check on your grafts!" I could hear behind me that Kylo was breathing almost as hard as I was. I must have startled him in his sleep, and he took me for an intruder.

"Damned right, I did," he replied, having heard my thought. "You're lucky you're alive," he admonished me as he helped me upright. I stood facing him, shaking with fear.

"Are you alright?" he asked, a true touch of concern in his voice.

"Y-yes," I replied shakily, "just startled."

"You're startled?!" he asked incredulously, "I'm lying here asleep and you break into my quartersꟷ"

"I did not 'break in'," I argued, "I have the medical passkey."

He looked furious. "I thought you were going to disable it."

"I forgot," I replied quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you; I know you need your rest right now."

While he seemed surprised that I cared about his feelings, he also kept a defensive stance as we both came to realize we were standing there arguing while he was completely nude. I needed to go, and this was my cue.

"I'll come back in the morning to check on you again," I said distractedly as I packed my scanner into my side bag. "Ring me if you need anything."

"I won't be here in the morning," he replied, drawing a robe around him.

"What?" I asked.

"I need to see Supreme Leader; I won't be here." He looked down, absent-mindedly fiddling with the ties of his dressing gown, the soft silky material shimmering in the half-light of his quarters.