To Try Our Souls: PART I OF 'TO CURSE THE DARKNESS' (Kylo x Reader)

Realizations

"No..." I heard a voice softly mumble in my ear, just enough to wake me from the brief slumber I'd been enjoying. Kylo's brows were knitted together as if something in his dreams was deeply disturbing to him. He continued muttering quietly, nonsensically, until I stroked his cheek and he returned to his repose. Assured that he was buried in a state of dormancy, I slid gently from the bed and returned to the refresher to dress so I could escape Ren's quarters before he awakened. My uniform lay in tatters on the counter, and I tried my best to re-assemble myself enough to make it back to my own barracks before someone noticed. As I crept towards the door of his quarters, I took one look back at the dark knight and tried to make sense of what had happened in the room. I left him softly breathing in the bed as the door panel swished closed smoothly behind me.

I carried a towel in my arms to help cover the ripped clasps of my jacket and thankfully, no one paid much attention as I made my way back to the garrison level in which I lived. Unfortunately, my roommate was there when I returned and I resented her presence not only because I wanted to be alone, but because she was a devious, selfish little twit as well.

"Ooooh, who got the best of you, Ne-Ne?" the perky little blonde teased, her childish nickname for me adding to my already irritable state.

"No one, just ripped it on a piece of equipment in the lab," I tried to reassure her with a lie.

"Too bad, you could use a good stiffꟷ"

"Alarna, enough, okay?" I stopped her with a glare. "You're weirdly fascinated with my sex life, why don't you worry about yourself?"

"So touchy," she sneered, screwing up her pert little nose as she buckled up her overalls. "Well, if you want to bring anybody back here tonight, help yourself. I gotta work a double in the mech shop."

I barely registered her departure as she left, so preoccupied I was with my new circumstances and all that had come with it in the last two days. I changed into a fresh uniform and made my way back to the medbay to check in with Captain Dentley as I'd promised, where I found him in his day room reviewing files.

"Captain?" I inquired as I knocked tentatively at his open doorframe.

"Come in, Sharva," he said, pointing to a seat as the door closed behind me. He set down his datapad, looking at me with consternation. "How's His Haughtiness doing?"

I smiled slightly at his joke, folding my hands over my lap.

"He's resting uncomfortably," I bantered back at the Captain who chuckled in response.

"And how are you doing?" he followed on, more seriously.

"I'm keeping busy," I replied. "I think I'll debride the dead skin from his sutures tomorrow, maybe do some grafts in the worst areas if it looks like they're ready." I then collected my thoughts and asked, "Where did he come from, Captain?"

Captain Dentley looked taken aback. "Hell?" he responded with contempt. "I don't know, Sharva, and quite frankly, I don't care," he remarked dismissively, then pointing at me angrily, "and neither should you. We're here to do one job, and that's to keep these people's bodies operating in service to the First Order."

"I understand, Sir" I replied softly.

"I don't know that you do," he rebutted testily. "Look, Sharva," he softened, "I know you're lonely. I know it's been hard for you since Varryl died." He jabbed at his desk with his index finger. "This is why we forbid relationships in the Corps, because it's a distraction from your work." Adding more concernedly, he continued, "This man will do nothing but cause you grief and heartache." Then, under his breath the Captain added, "He's a monster, and a pissed-off one at that. You don't know the hurt and pain I've seen him inflict on people. Don't think you can change him, or save him from himself, or whatever other dumb ideas you may have. Give him a wide berth, Sharva. Get in there, do your job, and get out."