Warning/Disclaimer: manga spoilers (+ me being torn between being proud of that one or very disappointed)
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The harsh banging on the door pierced throughout the tranquil silence of the night and immediately pulled Y/N from her sleep. She looked frantically around her, the sudden waking leaving her lost as her clouded mind couldn't process what woke her. She glanced at the clock and confirmed that it was still the middle of the night.
The calm had settled back into her room until another quick succession of knocks was heard. Y/N quickly checked her phone to see if she had any missed calls or anything that would put a name on who was abusing her door. In the absence of notifications, she took it upon herself and got out of the bed. The banging on the door was getting annoying.
She quickly made her way towards her front door, head filled with ways to tackle the situation if it ended up being dangerous. And if it was someone she knew, they were about to get the lesson of their life for interrupting her precious sleep.
However, the sight facing her when she opened the door left her speechless.
Geto was there.
It had been weeks since his departure from the school and even more since their last conversation when Geto had subtly let his classmate take a glimpse of his idea. An idea that Y/N, at the time, had brushed off with a sight. The world they were living in was indeed unfair but, she knew, putting all the blame on one group who couldn't control their emotions wouldn't resolve anything. And she thought he also knew.
When Gojo had come to deliver the news, no word left Y/N. A wave of guilt for overlooking the state of her friend splashed hard against her back, putting her down to her knees. She hadn't noticed the despair of the boy she admired, the boy she cherished. She had assumed he would be able to overcome this obstacle alone. She had abandoned him and betrayed her own feelings.
"Geto..." her voice filled with worry and a hint of fear that she cursed herself for. After a closer look, Y/N could tell he was visibly stressed: the bags under his eyes were prominent; his hair was messy, contrasting from his usual neat bun; and his forehead was glowing with beads of sweat. "What happened?" she asked, not sure herself if she was referring to the incident or the current situation.
Her concern only grew as he remained silent, his hard breath being the only sound emitting from him.
"Do... I-" Y/N stumbled on her word, her mixed feelings preventing her from producing a decent sentence.
Absentmindedly, and by habit, she reached to take his hands in hers. However, the feeling of her fingers brushing against his skin brought Geto back from his trance and he pulled her in his arms. His hold was tight, only leaving space for the both to breathe each other scent. They were so close, she could feel his racing heartbeat against her chest.
Eyes wide, Y/N didn't move until he took a step back and released her with a shaky breath "Can I come in?"
She didn't have time to think. She nodded slowly and let him passed her, closing the door behind him. Her heart was starting to hurt by how hard it was beating. Her feet forcing her to join the man on the couch. The sudden tension was heavy in the living room. Y/N didn't know where to look while Geto had set his eyes on the coffee table.
"Sorry for barging in" he spoke, breaking the silence that had been settled for a few minutes now.
Clearing her throat to get rid of any hint of hesitance, Y/N started "It's alright, I just..." she looked up from her fiddled finger to notice he was now looking at her "I didn't expect you"
A low chuckle left his lips "I guess that must have been quite the shock for you"
Geto seemed to have calmed down. His breathing was getting steady as the adrenaline that rushed him to her door died down. He was now very much aware of the place his nightmares took him and the presence of his old friend next to him.
It was weird to see her so uncomfortable in his presence when he could vividly remember her pouncing on him every time he would come back from a mission. She would plot down on his laps, snuggling against his chest as they watched some old movies while Gojo muttered insults in the back. They weren't dating. No. But the feelings were there, it was just a question of time...
A time he cut short.
"I need you to tell me something" he finally revealed, slightly shifting to close the distance. "But first, I need you to listen to me" he added, searching for her eyes who were trying to avoid the confrontation. "Please" his voice broke in a silent whisper.
The guilt of her past regret was stabbing her at his demand. She had failed him but now she was offered a way to redeem herself. So she took it. With a new determination, Y/N held his gaze to assure him she would be listening, this time.
"You already told me your view on the topic and I didn't come here to try to change your opinion..." he trailed off to place his hand on her cheek and caress the softness he was lounging for. He felt at ease in her presence, his heart seeming to have found the calm his recent actions were struggling to achieve.
Placing her own hand on his, Y/N encouraged him to continue.
"I know you will not follow me but-" a chuckle interrupted his confession. He seemed frustrated with himself. Taking a deep breath, he reopened his eyes and with a clear tone, confessed "I love you, Y/N" Not even letting time for the woman to process, he continued "I think I've always loved you. I-" He was once again interrupted by his feelings but this time in a form of choked breath.
It was hard. To confess to someone with the knowledge nothing would come of it. The feelings might be shared but there was something much bigger preventing them to even think about pursuing a relationship.
Y/N had her morals and she couldn't overlook what he had done. He was a criminal, a murdered even. He lost track of his vision of peace and impose responsibility on innocents.
She never doubted her feelings for her senior. She loved him... not the man in front of her.
"Ge-"
"Let me finish" his tone had a hint of despair. He was now cupping her cheeks. "Can you lie to me?"
Furrowing her eyebrows, Y/N asked, "What do you mean?". She was frantically searching on his expression for answers to questions she didn't dare to ask. Her movements were troubled and when she wanted to reach his face, she ended up clinging onto his shirt.
"You're shaking" he pointed with a sad smile. Geto pressed his forehead against hers "You can't love someone, you fear. And I need you to tell me you love me"
Y/N's face softened at the confession, the guilt washing the earlier shock. She closed her eyes, feeling the tears beginning to welling up. He gave her an opportunity to make it up to her friend yet her recent determination was already shaking at the demand.
His next words were whispered so softly it left her wondering for a second if she had actually heard it "Just this once." He placed his lips over hers, his breath inviting her to give out against the temptation "Lie to me, please"
She could practically feel her heart splinter when his despair reached her ears. "Geto..." it felt like it was the only word she was able to mutter at that moment. Her mind was rushing to provide her an answer or just an indication.
