𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 | 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍

No more secrets . Nanami Kento

The walls were thin, the doors creaking. Tricky was to sneak into these corridors, to escape into each other's room without arousing suspicion.

"What are you doing here?"

"Keep it down, they're going to hear you."

Boarding schools weren't practical for two lovers. Especially when you were too shy to be lovers in front of others.

"You should have texted me instead of knocking, Haibara is just next door."

Nanami quickly pulled you inside his room before glancing into the hallways. It was dark, it was quiet. No one had followed you. At least that's what he hoped. He could already feel the migraine if seniors learned that you had come to visit his room. Late, at night.

"Haibara sleeps like a baby. I could break down his door and he'd still be sleeping peacefully."

"That's not a reason. We agreed tonight we'd just call each other."

Calls weren't practical. Of course, it allowed him to fall asleep accompanied by your voice, and hoped that it would follow him in his dreams. But he preferred to be accompanied by the beating of your heart. His head nestled in your chest, his hands intertwined around your waist. Calls were just the spare wheel.

"I know."

You didn't think calls were practical either. What you wanted was to run your hands through his hair, whisper how long it was getting, chuckle as you feel his cheeks burn. Stop it, I'll cut them off soon. No, don't cut them, it's better this way, it's better for me, I like to run my fingers in your hair, it's soft, I can't if you cut them. I'll cut them. No, please. I'll cut them just a little. You promise me. It's stupid. Promise me. I promise you.

"You know it but you still came. And if Gojo heard you, how are we supposed to do?"

Timidity, it's stupid. If it affected one of them, it would be alright, but the two of you? Two shy persons, together. You add to the equation a senior with the tendency of old people sitting on their patio on the lookout for the next gossip. Seemed like a delicate situation.

So the idea of hiding your relationship came naturally. By reflex, your hands let go at the slightest echo. Step back, hurry, move away. If we are too close, like a magnet, our hands will bind again. Quickly, Take a step back. Set up a safe distance.

"I know but..."

"But?"

Your head was down. You were pulling on your fingers, looking for the right words. Sometimes you felt like your relationship was a secret to both of you. It's true it hasn't been that long, but you wanted the words to come more easily.

"It's silly. Sorry, I'm going back to my room."

You freed your fingers from your anxiety and were ready to press on the door handle when Nanami grabbed your wrist.

"Wait."

He lifted his hand up to your shoulder to lead you to his bed. When you sat down, he took place at your side. You were looking at him, waiting for an explanation, playing with your fingers again.

"Look, I'm sorry. I got carried away. It's just that tonight, everyone came back. Haibara doesn't notice anything but the others..."

"No, don't worry. We said we'd call each other. I'm the one who wanted to..."

You were now pulling on your fingers. Nanami noticed the gesture. He didn't want that. He wanted you to be comfortable with him, to be able to talk without a filter, without thinking. The secret was for the others, not for both of you. He grabbed your hands and stroked your fingertips.

"I'm listening to you."

"I just wanted to see you."

"See me?"

"Yeah. I don't know why, but I really wanted to see you."

The caresses stopped. Nanami had to concentrate to try to contain the reddening of his cheeks.

"I understand..."

He understood too well. Using the spare wheel was frustrating.

"What about you? Did you want to see me?"

Your question caught him off guard. Of course, he wanted to see you. He was always thinking about you to the point he questioned whether it was normal. It was his first relationship, you were his first love. So, he didn't know if it was too much. Is that what love is? Isn't that a bit much?

He didn't know so he thought the right thing to do, so as not to scare you, was to keep some of his feelings, his secret, to himself. He thought you should take it easy, away from the eyes of others, so as not to embarrass you.

That was the resolution he had taken. That was the resolution that was broken when he met your gaze.

Your eyes were bright with hope, wide open, looking for an answer on his face. Sometimes you felt like your relationship was a secret to both of you. It's just an impression, right? Tell me. Reassure me.

"I too ... " the caresses resumed, this time they went up to the palm of your hands "I wanted to see you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see you."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have come sooner."

"I don't know. I guess there are some things I don't dare tell you."

"Why?"

You wrapped his hands with yours.

"Tell me everything. No secrets. Not between us."

Containing the blushing, he gave up on that. So, he looked elsewhere. He decided to hide everything cause he could no longer control the feelings that rose, that no longer wanted to hide patiently, that no longer wanted to play their role of secret.

"They're not real secrets. I just don't want to overwhelm you. They're just temporary secrets."

With a hand, at first hesitant and then determined, seeing his eyes glancing at you timidly, you cupped his cheek. Your thumb caressed the contour of his dark circles. You invited him to look at you.

"No temporary secrets. No secrets at all."

His eyes continued this come and go between your face and the door.

"Are you sure it won't be too much for you? I'll probably be awkward with my feelings, I don't know exactly what to do with them yet."

"Be awkward. I'll be awkward too, and it's okay, it's always like that at first."

The door had been forced, his secrets had escaped.

"No more secrets."

He covered your hand on his cheek with his own and this time his gaze didn't flee. The feelings had taken control. No more secrets. He no longer had to restrict them. He would stop thinking. He would love you. He would love you too much but it didn't matter because he would quickly understand that for you, it would never be too much.

"Yeah, no more secrets."