Just Reality

Chapter 66

DEANS POV~

"What, you don't believe me? Do you want to see?" Kathy asks, an unbelieving laugh escaping her lips. While her tone may have been solid and set up to express an air of apathy, I can see in the way she's sitting that she's nervous.

She's been nervous the entire time, since the moment we set foot in the building at 9:45. But now it's eleven, and our deadline is getting nearer.

Though that's not what has her seeming more unnaturally calm, no, it's the topic at hand. Kathy couldn't even stand to tell the Agents what had happened to her two and a half months ago, but now she's just told her father. The man who plays strategic mind games to get what it is he truly wants.

Today, here, that was Kathy. All he wanted was Kathy. And sitting on this side of the glass being unable to do anything sparks the kind of anger I can't put into words.

Zander stares at her, completely oblivious. The angle from my seat isn't perfect, so I can't much see his expression, but his silence is answer enough as Kathy whispers, "Alright..."

She stands from her seat, and at first I'm confused as to what she's doing, but when she reaches for the ends of her button up I sit straight up in my chair, my hands fleeing from my sweater pocket to grip the arms of my seat.

She lowers her shirt. Aspen and Penny gasp, meanwhile Grayson is twisted in his chair, trying his best not to seem too shocked at the sight.

Zander goes painfully still, whilst Copper gawks shamelessly. I'd understand if he still cared about her, I really would, but the back handed comments he continues to make have me wondering just how bad the consequences would be for punching somebody within the law...

But aside from that, my eyes are glued to Kathy. I know she's only done it for the case, but it's at a major cost to herself as well. She hardly wants me to see her brand, let alone a room of five people, and whomever decides to watch the recording.

I can't even fathom how she feels. With my father there was nothing to lose. There's never anything to lose. But when Kathy first came in here to question Zander it seemed that at every turn there was something to stall the conversation and force her into a hyper relapse. She'd sit there silent, struggling to breathe, but now?

She walked back into that room for the third time tonight and there wasn't a single indicator on her face that could tell me how she was feeling. Even now, what I know is more so an estimation. It's as if she's shut down, if not to hurt Zander than to preserve herself. She can't take the blows any longer. Ever revelation she learns has her questioning every aspect of her life.

She's broken.

And now she's showing her father -the man that single handedly caused at least half of her trauma- one of her biggest insecurities.

She's barricaded her heart to protect it from the final verbal attacks that'll take place tonight, and in doing so she locked away her emotions, leaving behind the only defence mechanisms she knows to use- sarcasm, smiles and laughter.

I know Kathy- she probably feels like a monster being in their with the real villain, expressing a side to herself that very well has existed for a while, but has been hidden under layers and layers of duct tape.

It's been five years. Five years of Kathy trying to move on, and I guarantee that to her the only way to do so was the forget the Kathleen that existed at the time. The Kathleen that grew up with serial killing parents who taught her how to act. Her parents very well taught her to act as nothing more than a bystander, so that she could observe and use her tongue as a whip when necessary.