Gay or not?

Chapter 10 + 11

Pulling away from his sweet lips, I pushed him down to lay in my bed. His hoodie making me unable to kiss him down from his neck.

I went down to his stomach, pulling up his hoodie slightly while planting kisses on his stomach. His hands was in my hair, both playing with it and pushing me down to not stop kissing him. Soon, I'm not going to be the only one naked.

Pulling up his hoodie slightly more, I continued to kiss my way up. Doing one or two marks from when I had sucked there.

El was moaning the whole time, letting me do what I want.

Then I pulled up the hoodie even more, just to see something I didn't expect. His chest, a sport bra was covering it while it was like two balls bumping up and down.

Pulling off the hoddie whole, I saw long silver hair in a small bun, letting out the tips so it looked like short hair.

Going down, I pulled off his pants too, just to see panties instead of boxes.

I can't believe it, El's a girl. El have been a girl this whole time...

Getting off of her, I backed away a bit, sitting at the edge of the bed. I put my head in my palms, leaning over.

He's a girl. El is a girl. The one I love is a girl and I didn't even know it. It's... I don't know how to handle this. We have been together in two years already, how couldn't I have known?!

Should I be relieved I'm not gay? Should I be angry he- she I mean, didn't tell me?

I'm too shocked to even know.

Then two arms went around my neck while hi- her chest was pressed against my arm.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I still love you as much, 'kay?" El whispered. I just gave a small nod, but asked "Why didn't you tell me? We agreed to tell each other anything. I'm your boyfriend..."

"I was just... scared. You thought I was a boy from the beginning and it made me happy. I never really got along with other girls besides Diane and Merlin." She whispered, sitting down beside me and leaning her head on my from the side.

"So every time... every time I hang out with Elizabeth, it was you? Every time I hang with you, it was Elizabeth?" I asked. She nodded.

"I'm really sorry. I have tried to tell you, but it's so hard." She said. With a small sigh, I said "No, it's not your fault. Just give me some time."

I picked up all my things and put on my clothes before walking out of the room, leaning at the wall while sliding down it.

I just can't believe this. Small tears formed in my eyes. I don't know what to think anymore. Is El a girl or boy? Is El Elias or Elizabeth?

It feels like I am going insane. It feels like I have lived in a lie until now.

My head went down to my hands as I cried. This isn't anything I can process. Not yet. It's too hard. I wish it was all dream.

Then I heard someone sit beside me, taking their arms around me.

"I'm sorry. Can we... talk about it? Or I could go home if you wa-" I cut El off by saying "D-don't leave me. I need you now."

The hug become tighter as I just cried. Once the crying died down, I finally looked at El. The hair was down, arriving at the waist. The crystal blue eyes the same like usually, but one eye being covered.

"I-I want to talk now. A-about all this mess." I whispered. She nodded and we stood up, walking inside my room again. I'm so fucking lucky no one is home except me and El who's sleeping over tonight.