When Time Runs Out (JosukexReader)

Chapter 8

I try to push through the crowd faster. Why can't people just move? I call out Josuke's name a couple more times. Why isn't he responding? I feel like I could curl into a ball and disappear but Okuyasu needs Josuke to help him. I feel something hit my leg. It stings for a second but can't worry about that right now. I see them in the yard. What should I do? I could try one thing. "AMANDA!" I see her turn around immediately. I see Josuke ask her something. She shakes her head. I hear her shout my name back. I wave my hand in a panic. I see her eyes land on me. She runs over to me quickly. "Y/n what are you doing here?" "No time Okuyasu needs help from Josuke." She grabs him real quick and then grabs my hand. I lead them through the crowd. They part for the most part now. When I get to the backyard Okuyasu isn't looking the best right now. I point and Josuke shakes his head and goes over to him. A crowd has gathered around Josuke and Okuyasu. I feel the adrenaline wear off. I suddenly become self-aware of just how many people are here. I have to get out of here.

I try to back away when I feel a pain in my leg. I look down to see my pants leg has a noticeable amount of blood. I need a quiet space to calm down and collect my thoughts. I manage to get through the crowd and onto the street. I walk until I can't hear the party anymore. I sit down on the sidewalk and check my leg. There is a noticeable gash. Why would they be at a party? I look around and realize where I am. I see Rohan sensei's house in the distance. I could go and ask for a bandage from him or just walk home and hope for the best. If I wait till I got home then my mother would see and she would freak out.

After thinking some more I go to knock on Rohan's door. When I knock I hear no movement. I know that he can't be asleep, it's not even dark out. "Rohan, please just open the door." I watch as the door opens. He stares intently at me. "Just hear me out. If you let me in I can do something like distract Yukako for an afternoon so you can hang out with Koichi?" He puts a hand on his chin and pretends to get lost in thought. "Come on Rohan, I just need to clean up my leg." He looks down at and leg and makes a face of disgust. "Why would you come to me, you low life?" Typical I'm in pain and yet he still insults me. "Fine, just hurry up." I head to his bathroom and sit on his toilet. He comes in with his sketchbook. "You are not drawing my wound, Rohan." He scoffs and stands at the door. I clean off the blood. It's worse than I thought. That is one deep cut. "Why didn't you have that delinquent heal you?" "Why do you care?" "Heaven's door!" No, I don't want him to know anything about my crush. "STOP IT, YOU PRICK." He grabs a couple of my pages and swiftly pulls back. "Don't read it, Rohan there is nothing of interest to you." "Someone was at a party. Ooo and you have a crush on a certain someone." My leg does need a bandage but I doubt he has any that are big enough to cover it. I look through and see a bunch of small bandaids. "Give me back my pages and fuck off you prick." I feel embarrassed. Why did he have to be nosy? "Fine." I walk out and head home.

When I get home I don't see my dad but I do see my mom on the couch. She seems to be in her world and right now she can stay there. I go to our bathroom and get out the first aid kit. I disinfect my wound and put a bandage on it. I head to my room and collapse on my bed. I feel so alone right now. Have they been excluding me for things? What have they done without me? Why do I care so much? I start to hyperventilate. Are they only my friends out of pity? It doesn't help that Rohan knows about my crush on Josuke. Why? Why is this happening? I feel myself start to shake. I start sweating. Why? Why me? I feel myself get nauseous. The only thing I can hear is the pounding of my heart. I wipe the sweat off my forehead. I hate this. I curl in my blanket but it makes me more nervous. Why did I go to that stupid party? Why do I have to be me? Why am I so pathetic? I watch out my window and continue to have these thoughts.

After about three hours of those thoughts, I feel so tired. I want to be the kind of person that everyone can't help but like. The kind of person that no matter what they make other people smile. I don't want to continue to have these thoughts. I want someone to talk to about this but who could I tell? I can't tell anyone. I don't want to make anyone worry. I can figure it out myself.

I wake up feeling fine but I feel so uncertain of everything in my life. I get ready and head downstairs. I don't see my mom down yet." Mom!" I don't hear a response. That is unusual. I stare into the kitchen then hear a hum. I follow it and see my mom sitting by the front door. "It's so pretty right Y/n?" "Yeah." I know that my mom loves the sunrise. "Sit for a minute Y/n." I sit down and stare ahead. " Y/n I used to be scared that you would close yourself off from the world and that one day I would wake up and you would be gone and I would go crazy." "Mom, why are you so scared of me leaving?" "It's just that you are so closed off and isolate yourself. Even if you desperately needed help you wouldn't tell anyone. I just thought that because of that you would disappear so no one would have to worry about you." "That's so dumb mom." "I know I'm just an over-cautious mom and I feel it's my responsibility to take care of you for your whole life but I know that once you are an adult that I can't baby you anymore." I stay quiet. I feel saddened to hear that my mom was worried about me. It also hurts to hear that I am that anti-social. I hear her sigh and take a deep breath. "I was wrong though I see you hanging out with your friends more and more. I'm so proud of you." She pulls me into a side hug. I feel so bad for my mom because she has to deal with me. "So what were you and dad fighting about?" "Well that promotion entailed him having a further commute time and it was too far for him." Why would anyone get that upset over that? "I know you don't understand Y/n and that's ok but just know it's all okay and we are working it out." "Then where is he?" "At his job?" I don't want to continue this conversation. It makes me feel like I'm intruding where I don't belong. I sit there waiting till I have to walk to school.

I go to get up and my mom hugs me. "I love you so much Y/n you are my child after all and no matter what you will never be a burden on me I would say you are a blessing." I feel my heartbeat increase. She says this so often and yet hearing it now makes me want to cry and hug back as hard as I can but instead, I dismiss her and wave as I head to school.

When I get there I put my head down and walk and stay on the sidelines. I don't want to hang out with my friend group right now because there is too much that I'm unsure of. As I turn the corner I see Amanda. I should ignore her, right? "Y/N!" I see her rush towards me and before I can run the other way she is already right in front of me. "Y/n I am so sorry for what happened at the party." I can tell by her voice that she sounds genuinely worried. "I looked and looked but couldn't find you and I was worried. If something had happened to you then I would have murdered someone." "Not to sound mean Amanda but why do you care so much about me?" "Y/n haven't you ever had a friend be worried about you and care about your safety?" I guess not explicitly I haven't, but who worries about their friends like that? "Y/n every deserves to be cared about." "But why me?" "Are you saying you're not the least upset that they didn't invite you to that party and that they have been excluding you?" "How did you know?" "Okuyasu told me that he doesn't invite you much because he forgets and Josuke already knows your answer." "It's fine, I don't care." "No you're not Y/n and that's ok but even if you are not ready to talk about how you feel that is fine." I feel that this is going a little deeper than I want it to. "You may be surrounded by people but I know that in reality, you couldn't be lonelier." She waves and heads to class and I do the same but something doesn't feel right. Why do I feel so happy to know someone else cares about me?