Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

<Gavin Forrester>

She plops down on the couch and crosses her arms, staring angrily ahead. I lock the door and take a seat in the chair across from her.

"How'd you find out?" I ask, my voice wavering a little.

"Carter told me that you were assigned to murder me. How long did you think you could keep that from me?" She says, her voice a few octaves higher than usual.

"I was never going to do it. As soon as I met you, I knew I never could and I didn't want to do it." I cross my arms and bite my lip to keep my tears inside.

"I want the full story. I want to hear the words Carter said come from your mouth before I truly believe you were hiding that." Victoria has tears dripping off her chin and my heart breaks a little every time I look at her face. "Look me straight in the eye and tell me your assignment was to kill me."

I shift my gaze so we're both staring at each other, straight in the eye.

"My assignment was to murder you but it was just that, an assignment. I was never going to kill you because the minute I saw you, I fell in love. Every time I saw you, you always seemed so happy and I had no plans of being the one to take that away from you. You deserved to live your life and that's the only thing I wanted for you. I told my boss that I was never going to murder you and I did everything I could to buy you more time..."

"Why'd you never tell me this? I trusted you with everything, why didn't you trust me enough to tell me this? Especially since it's a matter of life or death for me..." She shouts and stands up off the couch.

"I didn't want to make you mad because I was never going to do it so, I thought it would be better if you just didn't know." I admit, feeling complete guilt overtake me.

"I almost got stabbed to death because your boss was mad that you wouldn't do it!" More tears fall down her cheeks as she begins pacing around my living room.

"Damn it, I didn't want to lose you! I love you Victoria and I never wanted to watch you walk away. I didn't want you to hate me and above all, I didn't want to watch you die in my arms because of a trigger I pulled." I brush a tear from underneath my eye and then I stand up from my chair.

"Look where we are now, Gavin? You've already lost me." Victoria walks towards the door but I get there first and block it from her.

"Victoria, I didn't want to lose you..." I whisper, my voice cracking a little.

"You lied to me about everything...You lied to me about your assignment, you lied to me about your job until something happened with Carter, you lied about taking care of everything and I wouldn't be surprised if our whole relationship was a lie. I feel like I barely know you, Gavin and you lying to me just proves that point even further." She says, not making eye contact with me.

"I would never play you; I love you too much to ever hurt you like that." I reach out for her but she flinches away and backs up.

I walk away from the door and stand right in front of her.

"I can't even look at you, Gavin." She turns away, tears sparkling in her eyes. "Every time I do, I remember that you were assigned to kill me, that that fact was in the back of your mind every time we were together and you never had the decency to tell me."

"It's true, I can't get around that fact but I never had any plans of going through with it. I knew from the first time I met you that I never wanted to take your life away from you. I wanted to watch you be happy forever because I've never seen such a beautiful sight." I finish my little speech but she still doesn't look at me.

"You know what else I asked myself while I was sitting in front of your door?" She turns towards me but the look I get makes it seem like she's looking right through me.

I nod my head because for some reason my brain can't form a coherent sentence.

"He had so much opportunity to do it so, why didn't he? Why did he save me when it'd cost him everything? Why?" She looks up at the ceiling as she closes her eyes, allowing more tears to cover her cheeks.

"That's what love is...I did it because I never wanted to see you hurt, I never wanted to see that sparkle leave your eyes, Victoria." I whisper and place my hands on her shoulders.

"Don't touch me." She mutters with so much venom that I have no choice but to remove my hands. "I gave you my heart, I trusted you to never hurt me and you broke my heart into a million little pieces. I can't look at you and I can barely stand to be near you. I think it's best if we just forget about each other, Gavin and move on. We're not meant to be in each other's lives anymore and it'd be stupid to pretend that we can fix this because the reality is that we're never going to be able to..." Victoria opens her eyes and stares right at me.

"I'm sorry I did all this to you. I know you want nothing to do with me, Victoria and I understand that but I would never have gone through with it; I'd honestly rather kill myself than you..." Victoria puts up her hand to stop me from continuing.

"Gavin, I don't want to hear it. I got my answers, which is what I came here for and now I'm going to leave. Don't even try to stop me." She pushes past me and walks towards the door.

"So, this is really goodbye?" I ask and watch her stop before turning the knob on my front door.

Victoria regains her composure and opens my door. I hear her sniffle a little and then she walks out the door without looking back. I know I should run after her and apologize and do everything I can to get her back but somehow I know that would change nothing.

I sink down into the cushions of my couch and stare at the dark TV screen, knowing that I've screwed everything up, including my own happiness. Now, I'm left with nothing but emptiness. I can't shake the feeling of losing something I love with all my heart. I feel numb and my heart is broken beyond repair.

One million little pieces that only she can put back together...Love is truly the worst pain especially when the only person who can save me is the one I let walk away in tears.

I stand up and pack a bag with some clothes and other necessities, enough for a few days.

I need to get out of this city until the rehearsal dinner.

I lock my apartment up tight and then I go down to the garage. I get in my car and speed away from all the problems I plan to leave in New York City. I look out at the illuminated skyline of New York City at night but it fades quickly as I continue driving farther and farther away from it.

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