My Happiest Year - Killugon

Chapter 1: Hold On Tight, Never let go

Killuas POV:

*melody plays*

"I'm really on the ropes this time

I've been fighting all my life for you

I never should have said goodbye

But maybe that's what stupid people do

'Cause you gave me peace

And I wasted it

I'm here to admit

That you were my medicine

Oh, I couldn't quit

And I'm down on my knees again

Asking

For nothing

Thank you for the happiest year of my life

Thank you for the happiest year of my life, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh"

Before I knew it, I could see something appearing on the phone screen in my hand, reflecting a blurred image of my face back at me. I wiped it off and moved my hand to my cheek. A couple tears were dampening my face, warm as they marked my face. I sighed and pulled out my earbuds and tossed my phone to the side. I looked down, and used my sleeve to quickly dry them off.

"Damn..." It was irritating. Two years had passed. And still- I can't get my best friend out of my head. Why now?

Recently, everything always reminds me of him. I'll see someone with his dark hair and brown eyes, just to jerk my head and find they don't have the same brightness he does. When I left him... I thought I'd be okay.

And I was. In the beginning. Spending time with Alluka was amazing, getting caught up on all the lost time we had as children. But then, she got older. Kalluto joined us, and they grew up, and finally found their individuality, safely far away from the childhood that they were robbed of.

(A/N- I headcanon Kalluto as genderfluid and using any pronouns because it was not clear in the show, and they were referred to as many genders, so I just use they as to not assume.)

Alluka and Nanika were always together, and so they loved each other as siblings. The two of them, along with Kalluto, got along great.

I once asked Alluka; "If I were the only person who loved you in this world... would you be happy?" But that wasn't the reality anymore. She was surrounded by people who loved and cherished her. I had left his side because I wanted to protect her. She no longer needed protection, she no longer needed me to always be with her. Alluka was fourteen, and I'm scared I'm the one holding her back from all the adventures I had at her age.

I fell back on my bed. The tears wouldn't stop falling, no matter how much I tried. It was probably because I'd been holding them back for so long, not wanting to upset my siblings. I didn't know why all these memories were coming back... He used to text me often, about his travels and things his Dad had taught him, and then less. And less. Until it stopped completely. Had he grown tired of me? It made my chest hurt, thinking about how he might've met new people and forgotten all about me. I didn't even have the strength to feel jealous.

After a while I picked up my phone again. I didn't want to remember, didn't want to relive the times I had with him. But sometimes, I couldn't even remember his face. Or the way he'd say my name. I clicked on my photos, and found a folder labeled "Gon." I scrolled for a while, and even my body wasn't sure if I wanted to smile or cry, or even lash out on anything near me. All I could do was stare and wonder what I would be doing if I hadn't made my choice. Then, I couldn't take it anymore.