Jealous || SoonHoon, Jihan, Chancheol

|5|

Dino/Chan's POV

I'm really tying so hard to smile in front of everyone. I don't know if they noticed it but I sometimes wore a fake smile. It means that I'm about to cry and crying right now, in front of everyone isn't really a good idea so I have to try and contain my pain and sadness, although it's really hard to do so. 

I have to try to look okay, especially today is a special day for me. But with all that happened, It's making it really hard for me to look okay. Every time I look at them, they're always laughing and smiling at each other which kind of pained me on thee inside. I'm impressed that Joshua hyung was able to hold back his tears even though it's really hard. 

Like how can they always have those look of happiness whenever their together? I'm starting to feel like I should really just ignore all my feelings towards him and move on completely. I can do it if I'm fully focused on it but, now, I think that I'll want to feel love some more. Just for today, just for my birthday...that's all I wish for. 

Maybe the reason why I can't let go of something that makes me sad is because it's the only thing that makes me happy...

Hah...I wish that I could just forget and continue my life normally like before. But why does the word forgetting so hard to do? Is it because I'm close to him? Or is it because my mind wants to forget but my heart doesn't.

I was spacing out and vernon hyung noticed that's why he shook my body to get my attention.

"Chan, what's up with you? Are you sick? You seem quite pale today" Vernon hyung asked which caught the attention of Mingyu hyung who was also at my other side.

Shit- I forgot to add some Foundation to my face after vomiting.

"What's up? What's wrong with Chan?" Mingyu hyung asked then put his hand on my forehead to see if I have a fever.

"Chan you're burning up-" Mingyu hyung exclaimed loudly but I immediately covered his mouth and good thing that nobody noticed yet.

I gave Mingyu hyung  a glare and mouthed him to shut up.

Okay, Okay. You might think that I have hanahaki but no, I don't have it. My stomach had been hurting ever since I woke up this morning. Must be because of the food that I ate last night.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine" I said which they both didn't believe. 

"Do you think that we'll let that go just because you said so? FYI Chan we're older than you. Plus, how can you be fine if you're burning hot" Mingyu hyung said

"Thanks for the compliment" I  answered back which made them scoff at my silliness. See? I can even joke around even though I'm having a high fever. That's how tough I am lol

"We're not joking around Chan. I'll tell our manager" Vernon hyung said but I immediately stopped him from standing up which caught the attention of the other members

"No don't. I'll just worry the others and they won't be able to focus on the program." I reasoned which they quite believed

They thought for a moment then looked back at me

"I'll tell our manager to never tell the others and he can just say it after the program but I'll just get you some medicine or else you're fever might rise up again" Mingyu hyung said which I agreed on since I also don't want to trouble the group and not be able to perform with them.

Mingyu hyung walked back to the back stage and talked with our manager which called me to the back stage as well which made the others look at us with confusion.

I ignored them and walked directly to the back stage and saw our manager holding some medicine which I assume that is for me.

"Chan, here you go. Are you sure that you want to finish the program? You know that I can just excuse you and make up an excuse so the fans won't worry right?" Our manager suggested.