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note ; this ending is not a part of the story! this is just an alternative ending if it lumine was the one that xiao liked all along
angst angst and angst
please don't read if u don't wanna be hurt but if u wanna be hurt please listen to the music♡♡♡
you were sitting at the edge of the rooftop, swinging your feet. it was cold. outside and inside.
it was cold without his presence.
wishing that he should be sitting beside you under the stars, the rooftop door suddenly opened.
"(y/n),"
you turned around, seeing his figure. you quickly turned your head back because looking at him will only bring tears in your eyes.
it hurts. badly.
"leave me alone."
you harshly spat out, your eyes still fixated under the stars. you wanted to make up with him, you wanted to tease him and laugh with him.
"i... i'm genuinely sorry. i mean it."
you held in your tears. you had this gut feeling about the two of them, but you didn't want to open up the topic to him. you loved him.
you were scared to hear those three words.
'i like her.'
"for leaving me?" you let out a pained chuckle, tilting your head up facing the sky.
"am i still your best friend...?"
you asked, burying your face under the warmth of your scarf.
"the one and only."
"...i'm glad. but leaving like that without notice was insensitive."
unexplainable pain coursed through your heart. your heart led a melody full of pure pain and sorrow, as it slowly and steadily beat inside its bony confinement.
"...i know now."
you turned around and hopped on the floor, before slowly walking to him and engulfing him in your own arms. your feelings for him were still clearly there.
burning and fiery, like a flickering candlelight in the midst of darkness.
the light in the midst of darkness.
that's what you were to him. you were his moon, lighting up the darkest of his nights.
he patted your back solemnly, before you broke the hug.
you wanted to hug him more. you wanted to kiss the life out of his face. you wanted to laugh with him.
you wanted to tell him you loved him.
"go ahead, xiao. she's waiting for you."
he hesitated before nodding, leaving your figure that was waving him goodbye.
goodbye. right. your friendship can never be the same again.
you weren't destined for him. you were only the best friend.
♡♡♡
it started snowing.
as you dragged your feet along the empty corridors of the school, you tried to keep it altogether.
you yourself held your almost breaking heart. it was like handling broken glass.
trying to fix it, but you get hurt in the process. your hands get grazed as you try to piece the fragmented sharp glass together.
you were close to the bonfire. it was warm, but nothing can ever melt the cold ice surrounding your damaged heart.
except for him. but he had someone now.
walking along the snowy path, snow settled on top of your head like that time when he left you.
when he left you for her.
as the past moments flashbacked to your brain, a wistful smile finds itself gracing your face.
past. past moments. right now, you stood alone beside the harsh streetlights, cars speeding on the road beside you. no one was there with you.
your mind could come up with no twisted reality to keep up with your loneliness. you could feel how pathetic you looked.
so you changed your direction, to that park by your house. the park where you and xiao stopped by to enjoy the first snowy day of december. where you had a snowball fight, and where you sometimes usually hung out.
as you passed by the busy road, a lot of people were cheery. it contrasted your dark and gloomy aura, and it felt like as if they were all pointing out how alone you were.
you reached the end of the street, the park just ahead. you walked slowly towards the park with snow on your head, you felt your heart break.
xiao and lumine were standing in front of the swings. they both looked happy.
the male engulfed the blonde girl in his arms.
"xiao, i... i like you."
you watched the two of them. your legs were planted in place, and your legs couldn't move. it felt like there was a rock stuck in your throat.
don't say it. you didn't want to hear it.
"i like you too, lumine. more than anyone. i love you."
it felt numb. the pain was unbearable, it was so painful that you couldn't even sob anymore. the light inside you died down.
tears ran down your cheeks quietly as you watched them share their first kiss.
right.
you were his moon.
but she was his sun.
she lit up his world. she brought warmth to him. she was the center of the solar system. the world revolves around her.
while you were just the moon. all the planets have different moons, but they all share the same sun.
he can never be happy with you. you were only meant to be as a side character, whose heart was meant to be broken. you can never replace her.
you wiped off the tears on your cheeks when you saw them walking away. no, away from the park, but towards you.
they both spotted you.
with your feet almost close to giving up, xiao put a hand on your shoulder. they were both holding hands.
"thank you, (y/n)."
he walked away, lumine beside him.
you didn't know what he meant. but watching them walk away under the streetlights, their shadows growing fuzzier and fuzzier, tears streamed down your face.
i love you.
you couldn't tell him that. you can't. it won't bring him warmth and comfort.
because his sun was already with him.
your knees gave up, as you fell down and sat on the pavement. it was cold, but you were too hurt to even notice.
it was always her.
she was better. in looks, personality, attitude and everything.
you can't compete. she was the one for him,
not you.
♡♡♡
okay i was inspired to write angst bcz of my current state of emotion
sorry if that was too painful
hi aayahikari12♡♡♡
YOU ARE READING
warm - xiao
Fanficunfortunately (fortunately), you're lab partners with your emo edgy classmate- but what if you don't want to dissect those frogs? not editing. i cannot physically even read the first part without having a breakdown over how stupid some parts are ♡♡♡...