The forgotten diary of Jenny Barker

helpful

February 19th 1921

Dear diary...

Mother has been extremely busy lately, the doctors told her to take up a hobby to keep her mind focused. Mother has really taken an interest in making dolls, small dolls with round faces and perfect hair, dressed in immaculate dresses with bright pink lips. Mother won't let me go near them, she says that my hidden sin with destroy them, she doesn't admit it, but i know she's referring my sin to be my father... I know she hates me, its because i look like my Father. Currently, Mother is upstairs making some new dolls while I'm sat at the kitchen table, doing my homework. I don't enjoy school... the bullies, the teachers, the endless taunts about how I look and dress. Mother insists that I don't have a bath until Friday night, of course the bullies find this hilarious... My shoulder length hair is slowly becoming greasy, my weekday dress has been stitched more times then i care to count. Mother regularly gets angry when i don't clean the house. I remember, it was last Autumn and the leaves were changes from green to brown and i can vividly remember that when i came home from school and dropped my bag on the table, my mother barked for me to clean the out the cupboards. it was a Friday and i needed a bath. i asked if i could do my chores after I've been in the bath. I can clearly remember the look in my mothers eyes; rage poured from her pupils. She launched herself at me and slapped me, she climbed off me and ran up to her doll room. I was shocked and i eventually found the strength to sit up, my face stung. I quickly did my chores and went down to the basement. I wept in the dark room for hours... I remember being woken up by the crack of sunlight that shone through the bottom of the entrance. I climbed up the wooden stairs and opened the door that revealed the kitchen. Mother was no where to be seen. I grabbed my bag and ran to school before i could be caught. When i returned, the house smelt strongly of alcohol. Mother had been drinking... I shall explain more tomorrow, i must go. mother wants me to help clear the attic.

Goodnight,

J.