It's All Going to Be Okay

15

"I am beautiful," she said.

"I am beautiful," I cried. Arizona was holding onto both my hands as I looked down, taking a deep breath.

"It's okay, try again," Arizona said.

"I am beautiful," I said, looking up at her.

"Good, now I am loved," she said.

"I am..." I looked down in frustration, and looked back up at her, making eye contact. I locked eyes with her, as I tried again. "I am loved," I said.

"Good, good...I am safe," she said.

"I am safe," I repeated after her.

"I am worthy," she said.

"I am worthy," I repeated, looking at her. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her chest.

"I'm so proud of you," she said. I held onto her, as I fought back the thoughts going through my head.

"How is this feeling?" Amelia asked.

"I'm fighting the thoughts in my head...I can see the love you have for me, which is making me feel loved," I said.

"That's amazing," Amelia said. I nodded, as she got in on the hug with us.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, pulling apart from the hug, looking up at Arizona.

"What's up?" She asked, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Can I get a new phone? Like just a new number?" I asked.

"Of course, you can, we can do that later today if you'd like?" As I wrapped my arms around her again, I nodded as Amelia smiled at us.

"Should we have some breakfast?" Amelia asked. I looked over at Amelia, and shrugged, as she pulled mine and Arizona's hands up.

"I'll make some French Toast," she said. I nodded as I went to the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I was mad that I let all of this happen and go on...Tony already took so much from me and now I was letting Callie take over my life. I took a deep breath and looked at myself remembering what Amelia said to tell myself.

"I am beautiful," I cried. I shook my head, looking up at myself in the mirror. I looked down and then looked back up at myself. "I am beautiful. Fuck Callie, fuck this," I yelled at the mirror, sliding down the wall crying.

"Did you hear that?" Lexie asked, walking downstairs. Arizona looked at her, and then heard a thud in the bathroom. "I'll check, stay there," Lexie said, looking at Arizona's face. I walked to the bathroom down the hallway, knocking on the door, and opened it to see Gracie on the floor crying.

"Fuck Callie.... Fuck this," I cried.