Little flirt never killed nobody

6

That night, as soon as I got home, I took a shower and went to bed. Even though it was pretty early, I was absolutely exhausted. My entire soul was crushed by Cate's confession. Thankfully Gillian was spending that night at her place since she didn't expect me to be home until early morning. I sank into my comfy bed, but the fatigue didn't let my insomnia go. Why the hell do I always fall for the wrong people?

A couple of people stood with me in the room choosing the outfits for the next episodes. A Vanilla iced latte in my hands wasn't giving me anything. I guess caffeine can only help you with the early wake-up and not with the complete deprivation of sleep. Thankfully it was the last thing for the day. I know that you want me to talk about Cate, but to be honest I just want to forget about her. Erase her from my head.
People were slowly gathering things and going home but Cate stayed.
- Gosh, it was a long day. I really need a good nap. My system cannot take any more coffee. - My complete ignorance did not seem to disturb her. - So, the party. Sarah did a lap dance after you left. It was pretty funny, especially that she could barely walk, not to mention dance. - I started packing my things too since the longer I'm going to be in this room, the bigger the chance that I will do something to her. Not sure what.
- But it's actually better that you left early because the rest of the party was really boring. - I tried to leave the room but Cate caught my arm and turned me around.
- What did I do to you?! Why are you suddenly ignoring me?! - Cate exploded at me with glassy eyes.
- I should have ignored you from the beginning. - I whispered with a grumpy face. I knew that Cate wasn't the only reason for my hate, but she was the only person I could blame right now.
- Oh, it speaks!
- You want me to speak? Ok, I will. I fucking hate you because you're destroying your and my family. You're just so selfish! You don't understand that no means no. - I completely exploded. I was rarely shouting but at that moment my voice was barely recognizable. It was more similar to something animal, brute than a human voice.
- My family ended a long time ago.
- But my didn't! So stop harassing me! - I pushed Cate with all of my anger. As soon as she realized what happened she pushed me too. We started fighting and after one push full of rage Cate lost her balance and hit the wall with the back of her head.
- Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good. - She tried to get up but I quickly grabbed her arm to support her.
- Sit down. You could get a concussion. - While sitting down on the sofa she put all of her weight on me as if she was about to faint. - I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that.
-You hate me that's a good reason to hurt someone. - I quickly grabbed some ice from the freezer and put it in the towel. Cate took the ice from me. A small grimace appeared on her face when she pressed the ice to her head.
- Be careful, it's cold... Maybe, I don't hate you. I don't know. - My hand gently caressed her hand. I felt guilty but this fight helped me get rid of the anger that was boiling in me.
- After our fight, I don't think you're honest right now.- She looked at me with her tired but still beautiful eyes. Eyes that could get anyone in this world but somehow they wanted me. Butterflies filled my stomach because I knew what I was about to do. I couldn't resist anymore, she was there and I could see that she's slowly giving me up.  With all of my passion, I kissed Cate and held her face for her to know that I mean it.
- Do you still think I hate you? - She didn't answer, instead, she pressed my body to hers, so our lips crushed. The interruption of the kiss only took a couple of seconds, but still, when our lips intertwined for the second time I felt like I had to wait forever. As much as I didn't want to admit to myself, Cate's kisses were perfect. Her lips were soft and tasted like honey. When she suddenly pushed her tongue inside my mouth, I could feel a huge wave of wetness crushing onto my underwear. When I sat on Cate's lap, I felt all of my fantasies coming true. It was the most arousing moment of my life. As she pressed her hand between my thighs, I uncontrollably leaned my head back to elicit a loud moan. My eyes opened when Cate suddenly took her hand away.
- You should go. - I looked at her absolutely confused but she wasn't looking at me back.
- What do you mean? We're just getting started. - I chuckled nervously hoping that she is somehow joking.
- Just go. Gillian is waiting for you. - My fantasies instantly changed into my worst nightmare. Her words sounded so unintelligible to me. I was hearing sounds but my brain couldn't or didn't want to connect them into sentences.
- But... We were about to have sex and you're telling me to go? - A slight nod was enough to destroy my soul. I lost my words. I stood there for a minute with opened mouth, searching for something to say, but nothing came to my mind. Nothing. I just grabbed my bag and walked away.

As soon as I entered my apartment, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't stop even when I was out of breath. I have never felt so betrayed and alone at the same time. One person can change your life but no one tells you if the change will be good or bad. In my case, there was no change at all because instead, I've lost it all.

- Vera, I know you probably don't want to know me but I really need you right now. Could you please come over to my place? - I sobbed to the phone. All that time I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. How could she do this to me? I gave myself up to her and after tasting me, she just decided to throw me away. I felt like a whore, nothing more but a whore. After 20 minutes that felt like an eternity, my doorbell rang. To be honest, I didn't believe that Vera would help me since we ended our friendship with a huge fight. But there she was, standing at my front door with bottles of Bombay Saphire and Martini. She was smiling as if nothing bad happened between us. Moments like that make me cherish our friendship.
- So, whom should I punch for you today? - She gave me the drink that she prepared for us, and sat on my balcony.
- Me, punch the shit out of me. I deserve it since the only two things I am good at are using women and getting used by them. - I took a giant sip, almost finishing the drink in one take. I knew she was looking at me worried but I didn't want to see her expression.
- Okay, now I'm serious, who hurt you? - Vera grabbed my shaking hand and looked me straight in the eyes with care and love.
- It's not entirely her fault.
-The same way it wasn't Naomi's fault when she left you? Honey, you have to stop blaming yourself for liking crappy women and get your shit together. - She smacked my thigh and I took another sip with a grumpy face.
- What about you? You were my best friend and I hurt you.
- No, it was me. You had the right to date Gillian... But anyway, was it Cate? - I looked at her surprised as I haven't told her anything about the recent events.
- How did you know?
- I am aware of her reputation. She kissed and fucked so many women, her husband must be blind by then. -As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, jealousy filled all of my thoughts. I wanted to believe that I was something more than just a good option for fucking. I wanted to believe that I cheated on my girlfriend for something more meaningful than just Cate's whim.
- I-uh, I had no idea about it. I guess, she was using me all that time. Gosh, Vera, I hate her so much, but still have feelings for her at the same time. I just can't think straight, especially that she gave me blue balls, and I don't even have balls... What should I do?
- Well, in my opinion, being with Gillian as if nothing happened is impossible and unfair to her. But leaving her for Cate is not a good deal either. Especially that she is married, so you will end up alone and miserable. Sorry for being so direct, but you know it's the truth. In my opinion, you have two options: break up with Gillian and cherish the single life or go public with her and forget about Cate. - After a long silence I finally said:
- I have to break up with Gillian.