Always, omi

Part8

08/05/20

Dear Atsumu,

It seems like our fight opened the way for affection. These past few days, we've been doing the same things as we always had— talking, hugging, playing board games — yet I feel like something's changed. Our skins brushed more often now and every time they did, I would jolt slightly, but it all seemed natural to you. I'm not complaining, though. I suppose this is a good kind of change.

They took off my bandages four days ago and I just finished my physical therapy session for today. Finally, I can bend my leg a little now! I feel so excited because it looks like I'm finally getting better. I asked the doctor if I was going to get discharged soon and he looked hesitant for a second. I think I might have just imagined it. Then he gave me a nod and smiled. I couldn't stop smiling to myself, too, as I pictured going back home.

Yesterday, you did some cleaning up around the hospital room, saying that I probably won't like it if it were the old me. I blinked. Even with amnesia, I did not like the mess the room was becoming, so thank you for figuring that out. I wanted to help you, but we both know I can't. I distracted myself with the videos of us from your phone instead.

There was a video of me sleeping closely in front of you and your hand appeared on the frame as you played with my curls. You kept whispering "Omi-omi.." and I swatted your hand away but you chuckled and played with my curls again. A few seconds passed with that scene and I suddenly opened my eyes and caught that you've been recording. I reached for your phone with a scowl and you screamed loudly before the video was cut off.

There was also a video where you set up your phone between the books of a shelf, I assumed, and it showed a part of the kitchen where I had my back at the camera. It looked like I was cooking something. You walked towards me and hugged me from behind. I didn't react. You rested your chin on my shoulder and it seemed like you whispered something to me before I turned around, leaned forward, and kissed you. And you kissed me back. (I had to pause the video at that part to give myself a moment to calm down, and you asked me why my face was so red. I ignored you and you laughed before continuing with your clean-up.) Our hands were on each other's bodies. We only stopped when the dish I was cooking got caught in flames and as I panicked and tried to put it out, you gave a victory pose in front of the camera before running towards the shelf and taking it out there. I heard myself shout "Babe, the extinguisher!" before you whispered "Shit," and ended the video.

I stopped watching videos after that since I felt my eyes strain at the phone's light. You approached me not long after and teased me about what I could have seen that made me blush. I told you I wasn't blushing. You said okay, but you had this mischievous grin on. I hit you lightly on the arm and you laughed. Like in the videos.

Then you told me you only had three days left before your leave for work starts. And then I can have you for myself - these were your words.

"Just hang in there, Omi-kun. You can have me all to yourself soon." That's what you said. I was about to retort but you added another sentence: "I love you."

I smiled. It didn't feel enough. I thanked you. To you, this was good enough. Better than the indifferent stare I gave you the first time you told me these words. But to me, my answer was lacking. I know there's more in me than just a smile and a 'thank you'. I feel the emotions but I can't bring myself to say the words loudly yet.

So, Atsumu, I'll say it here first.

I love you, too.

Always,

Omi