Everything is going to be ok (JOPPER)

Hope Breeds Eternal Misery

The thought of having to stand up, exert 172 muscles each step for 35 feet just so he could sit on cold porcelain and piss out toxins over and over again for the rest of his life makes the whole concept of living feel like one long sedistic joke.

The lack of motivation that Hopper has had over the past 2 weeks besides helping joyce out with the baby everyday has been gone to a whole different planet due to depression. He didn't feel it or notice it but yes he was depressed. Not to a point where its noticeable because everytime he's around El or Joyce and the baby, he's happy, genualy happy.

Most of the time he stays at Joyce's house so she doesn't have to get up in the midde of the night each day of the week to feed or just comfort Isabell, El picked out the name. When he's over there he feels like things could work out for all of them and that he could live a perfectly good life not being together with Joyce or ever thinking about her in that way, I mean they are doing alright, Right? Then when he gets home, he lays in his cold bed that hasn't been touched for days, eat canned soup alone in front of the T.V. that has nothing that interests him on, constantly trying to find him something else to do but think about how things would be different if he just told her. Not just at the hospital but before she got pregnant, the night they were together, the night that felt too special to know that she didn't feel anything for him.

It was just one...fucking...joke.

No, No, It's ok because what can he do about it he just the father of her child right? The guy who knocked her up right? Or at least thats how a lot of people in town see it.

He wants to know exacly why she wanted to be the with him that night, she never really told him, these thoughts are making him too fucking exausted and its getting anoying for him. He can't just go to Joyce's house and bring this up he needs some advice. Murray gave him his new address because he had to 'relocate'. So he took an almost two hour trip to his place, the closer he got the sketchyer things looked and felt, but he was just a bit paranoid.

He arived

"Please state your name" A voice said that came from no where, Jim almost forgot he does this.

"Its Jim"

"Your full name" Murray elaborated

"Its Jim Hopper now open the damn door I don't have time for your shit" His hands are in his pockets making in clear to the camera that he truely doesn't give a fuck.

Murray opened the door with a gear like he did last time. "I told you I don't have time for your shit I need to talk to you" He moves away the gear and lets himself in.

"No lovers quirel?" He puts is gear down

"Not today, and probably not ever...Hey Murray"

Murray walks to him slowy and gave him and hug "Hey Jim" He says in a whisper. They let go and sit on the couch

"So whats going on?" Murray asked

"Joyce had a baby" He gave him a proud smile

Murray was processing, his knee was bouncing he even laughed a little "Shit we've got to start being frinds your life got interesting"

Hopper laughed as he grabed his shoulder "Yeah and i'm the father"

Murray imediately stoped laughing and just looked at him "Holy shit...I'm going to get us some Vodka, its going to be a long night." He pats his shoulder then gets up to walk to his small kitchen

Hopper sighed "Yeah"

Murray grabed three whole bottles of vodka and 2 shot glasses, he comes back and watches Hopper pour himself and drink a shot. "So uh" he rubs his hand through his beard trying to find the right words or try not to say the wrong this to triger any emotion that was left in him. "Start from the begining, how did this happen?"

Hopper pours himself another shot but doesn't drink it yet, not wanting to get real dunk just yet. "Well uh, It was raining realy bad, it was about 2 or 3 in the morning I don't really remember but she came over crying so I let her in-"

Murray cuts him off "Wait why was she crying?"

"I will get to that, So she came over crying but she was also wearing my jacket that I let her wear when it was cold and just saying she looks so adoable in it. Anyways I let her in and I realized that she has been crying, I ask her if she was ok and she started crying again and being the good friend that I am, I pull her into a hug. It hurt me so bad to see her so sad, the best thing that I could do was tell her its it's okay and I will fix it, She said "I don't know if you can" and I was like "why", And then she kissed me."

"Wow, she most likely came over there to see you" Murray responded

"I guess but then she went further into it and I went along because I was waiting for this moment but when everything happened that night and we woke up the next morning and agreed that it was a one time thing."

"Well you know what they say?" Murry asked while taking a sip of vodka

"What do they say?"

"That hope breeds eternal misery." Hopper gave him a confused look, "Well people don't actually say it, I say it but in your case its true" He gestered to him.

"Yeah I get it, I was chasing something that had no hope." He said as he let the toxins from the small glass cup fill him up, in the process of erasing all guilt, love, any feeling, he wanted to feel numb.

"You have to admit, you are a bit of a dumb dumb, but your aren't completely right about the hope thing, there could still be a chance."

"Are you sure?"

"Your talking to me, and i'm pretty good at this, look at Nancy and Jonathan."

"You did that?"

"Yeah I did, 2 years ago, they came over at my old place and I innocently got them to hook up that night"

Hopper wasn't shoked "good job"

"eh its what I do best" Murray said before drinking anoher shot.

"So yeah we found out she was pregnant, I helped with the whole thing, I held her hand when she was pushing and then she cam out and it was the most beautiful thing ever." Hopper explained

"She?"

"Yeah" Hopper pulled out his wallet, to show him a picture of her. "Her name is Isabell"

Murray looked at the picture for a second the noticed an old picture of Hopper and Joyce when they were in highscool. The picture was a bit faded and scuffed up, he could tell its been in there for a while. He then reached for the picture and took it out. "Hopper how old is this picture?"

"About 25 to 30 years ago, man it doesn't even feel that long."

"You have to tell her, soon."

"I know and I will, just need your help"

"Thats what I'm here for"

Hey guys sorry it's been so long, I've just not had motivation to write lately, also I kinda don't like this chapter but I need it to Finnish it lol, anyways my Instagram is where I make edits and that is ryderxharbour so go follow me if you want, love you❤️