My Dad, the Joker (A Batman fanfic)

Chapter 25 (Harmony's POV)

"Dad, stop cheating!" I giggled as my dad and I played Monopoly; we were having our daddy- daughter time, finally, and we're spending it by playing board games.

"I'm not, honest." He chuckled, with his usual innocent face (which he would use when he lied). I loved spending time with him, but it was pain when he cheated at things like games. We had been playing for about an hour, with me winning for once, when dad said, "Shit, I almost forgot about that. Honey, I need to go to the town hall, fancy a ride in the limo?"

"Hell, yeah!" I instantly got up to get my things together; I loved riding in the limo, I mean who didn't? It made you feel like a celebrity or rich.

"You'll have to wait in the limo, and after I'll treat you to what ever you want." He called as I looked in my room for my shoes.

"I don't mind, dad." I called back; he got into his mime outfit. Once he was ready, we went on our way to the Gotham town hall. It was where the board from his meeting were going to be for a press conference. Dad and his men were dressed as mimes as they roamed around the area until the right time of the press conference. Bob was at the side, but not dressed as a mime, taking photographs of Alexander Knox. I know he also got a shot of Vicki Vale - the photographer -.  

When Vinnie Ricorso said, "Grissom's signature is perfectly legit," that's when my dad stepped in. 

"It is legitimate. I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and signed it in his own blood. And he did it with... this... pen." Dad holds up a green, purple and black feather that is at least a foot long, "Hello, Vinnie; it's your uncle Bingo."

Dad stabbed Vinnie with the toxin pen, and then took off his hat as the board rush to tend to Vinnie, "The pen truly is mightier than the sword." My dad's men started firing, making the crowd duck down and scream. Apart from Bruce Wayne. He just stood there in shock for some reason. Dad made his way to the limo as it parked up, as did a few of my dad's men. Mr Wayne followed dad, still with that shocked expression on his face. Dad waved to him, smirking as we drove away.

"Hey, dad, what did Mr Wayne want?" I asked

"I don't know, maybe he's a secret admirer." He smirked and I gave a little giggle.

Dad asked if I would like to help with a little project of his and I said 'sure' because it meant spending time with him. We ended up going to the Old Steel mill - my dad's hideout in other words -  to do the project. The project was basically cutting out and sticking some photos of dead and mangled bodies into a scrapbook, which was basically my dad's sense of humour; dad was sat at a table in his little den, while I sat on the stairs to the roof, not finding the armchair or desk chair comfortable for some strange reason. 

Bob came in holding some photos; more than likely the ones he took earlier. 

"So much to do in so little time." Dad said before he noticed Bob. 

"The photos," 

"Who is that?" Dad asked, talking about Alexander Knox, "Ooo, bad tie." 

Dad spotted a photo of Miss Vale, "Stop the press, who is that?" 

"That's Vicki Vale; she's the photographer working with Knox." Bobby explained. 

"Now that girl has style." Dad started cutting out the image of her, trying to be as careful, but as quick as he could, "A lovely beast like that can put steam in a man's stride." 

"She's dating some guy called Wayne." Bob was talking about Bruce Wayne

"Well, she's about to trade up. Better stay in the lines." He and Bob shared a laugh, "I'm about to get a new girl, Bobby. Eye over mind makes a movie, ha, ha." 

"Phonebook," Dad ordered Bobby.

Bob nodded and answered, "Yes, sir," 

Dad started twirling and dancing around the room, holding that image of Vicki Vale close to his chest. I just continued with cutting and sticking those images into a scrapbook. Because I was good with a camera and editing, my dad asked if I would be willing to film his new adverts, so I agreed with having nothing else to do. I laughed as he danced his way up the shopping aisle set with a trolley in front of him.

"Da, da, da, da," He chimed before cheerfully saying, "New and improved Joker products! With a new secret ingredient, Smilex. Now let's go over to our blind taste test."

A couple of female voices imitate the two models that dad had killed a few days previous to this using that same Joker product; they were just cardboard cut outs on the setting. The scene would change to a black background with a guy from the board tied up and a huge bottle labelled 'BRAND X'.

"Uh oh, you don't look happy. He's been using Brand X," With a shocked face that was obviously pretend for the guy, and then it cut to where a dead guy with a huge grin on his face and bottle of Joker product, "But, with new Joker brand, I'll get a grin again and again." 

The video would then cut to the final scene, a beach with the 2 models lying on either side of the beach chair that my dad sat in. Dad wore sunglasses. 

"That luscious tan, those ruby lips, and hair so natural that only your undertaker knows for sure." He laughed as the video came to an end, "I know what 'cha thinking: where can I get these fine new items? Well, that's the gag. Chances are you've already bought 'em."