This is insane

actor

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and Character 1 was running a very successful ice cream shop. Character 1 had always been invested in ice cream, and they had never even dreamed of making it this far in the ice cream-selling world at the young age of how old they were.

It was what felt like the thousandth customer of today. The heat was started to wear on Character 1. They wanted nothing more than to go home and eat some ice cream themself. But, no, they reminded themself, this is my biggest day of the year so far. I could make it onto America's Got Talent with this many customers!

So they looked up at the customer and asked, "want?" Their gesture down to the ice cream was pitiful at best, but it seemed to have sold the customer.

Character 2 answered quickly, "yes." Character 1 held in a breath of relief, not that they doubted for a second that the ice cream would be sold.

One thing Character 1 had learned being in the game for the long time that they had been was that they needed to charge money for their ice cream. It was the only way to be able to sell more ice cream without going broke, even if their customers didn't like having to give up their well-earned dollars to them. 

"MOney?" Character 1 asked Character 2. 

Character 2 narrowed their eyes, "no."

Character 1 sighed. They hated having to tell people they couldn't hand out ice cream for free. "Then no get."

Before Character 1 could react to what was happening, Character 2 stole ice cream by slapping it off of the counter and onto their own foot. They lifted their foot up to their mouth and slowly licked it clean.

Character 1 patiently waited until they were done licking before stating an accusing, "steal."

Character 2 took their phone out and went to their recent-callers list, hovering over the contact that said "Call This Number When An Innocent PoC Is Near You", "I'm calling the 911."

"Get deny," Character 1 growled. Nobody was going to call the police on themself in this establishment!

"Move ugl," Character 3 said from behind Character 2.

Suddenly, Character 4 spoke up from where they were, "pls can come to the basement?? Out now me pls can." They had a frowny face. Character 1 almost felt bad, but instead said;

"Shut."

But while Character 1 was turned around telling Character 4 they couldn't come out of the basement, Character 2 zoomed away super fast, yelling, "I am the fast the can bye!" behind them.

Character 1 yelled, "HEY!" after them, like a Lego® man.

Character 1 was so distracted by Character 2 running away they almost didn't notice Character 5 walk up with Character 6. They only really noticed because Character 6 started barking very cutely, like; "WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK AHHHHHHHHHGHHHHH."

Character 5 glared down at Character 6, "why yes ugly rat bitch mf ugly ass fuck." Character 1 looked away from them as they walked off without saying anything else. They were definitely upset about not getting to hear anymore cute barking, though.

"MONKE!" Yelled Character 7 from next to the basement door.

"SHUT MONKE!" Character 1 retaliated bitterly.

"...MONKE!" Character 7 finally said. Character 1 threw up on Character 7, finally shutting them up. Character 1 turned back to the front and smiled at Character 3, about to ask if they wanted ice cream from the ice cream shop they had waiting at for the past half-hour. 

They never got the chance, but a moment later the News Report walked in without it's reporter.

 "Bad," said Character 8 - the News Report - walking out right after.

Character 9 and Character 10 both came out of nowhere and said "bad" very badly.

"SEX ME NOW," character 11 stated, making a sad frown with their face.

"SEX ME NOW," character 12 responded, making a face that was a smile-smile-frown-frown-smile-smile-frown-frown-frown-frown-smile-smile-frown-frown-smile-smile-double eyed smile-double eyed smile-smile-smile.

Character 13 appeared next to character 7 and ate them. "Mmm I am child porn," they said after. Character 1 was proud of them for helping share that child porn exists. Character 1 quickly ate Character 13/child porn while jacking off with a sexy winking face.

Character 1 started yelling, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Too loud for everyone so they ran away while eating parts of Character 13.

I give clap single.

Author/actor/director/other actor/actor/actor/etc. am bow.

Original script written and performed by my friend:

Character 1: Want?

Character 2: Yes

Character 1: MOney?

Character 2: no

Character 1: then no get

character 2 steal ice cream

Character 1: steal (accusingly)

Character 2: im calling the 911

Character 1: get deny

Character 3: move ugl

Character 4: pls can come to the basement?? Out now me pls can ;( (VERY SAD)

Character 1: shut

character 2 run zoom but fast the can byee

Character 1: HEY (like lego man)

character 5 walks with character 6

Character 6: WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK AHHHHHHHHHGHHHHH (cutely)

Character 5: why yes ugly rat bitch mf ugly ass fuck

Character 7: MONKE (monke)

Character 1: SHUT MONKE

Character 7: MONKE (monke)

news report walk in

Character 8: bad

Character 9 + Character 10: say bad (bad)

Character 11: SEX ME NOW ;(((((

Character 12: SEX ME NOW (:):(:):():(:):(:)(::)(:)

CHaracter 13: mmm i am child porn

child porn exists

Character 1 eats child porn while jacking off ;)

CHaracter 1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(me): clap single

:am bow