Little conversations

Death

When it's hard to breathe and at the same time it's cold inside. When you understand that you can control nothing. Or nothing can control you. I guess you have deal with death. It make sense to sort ypurself out of it. But before you figure out what's need what's not , check that you're completely fine with that. or at least you relive it. 

To be honest like everytime, i had a deal with that. My grandmother died lat year. And even i had, have , will have a time...it doesn't help as you own work on yourself and your goals. 

I want to drop my life situation by a reason that it helps at least one person.

I lost my stronger , beautiful and funny grandmother on march 2020. I cannot fully describe how it was, because you never understand if you didn't go through it.

I don't want to bother you all i just prefer the talk about death. Time heals - yes. Life will be alike - absolutely not. My opinion is your life turns upside down however it's not an end. Only right way to go through it is admit it. Let it go and let go, honey. 

What are the lessons from it? Hah.. Seeking power into inner yourself. When i faced up to situation when every member of my family was depressed and sad i decided that i had to deal with it to help my family. My mom and sister are emotional persons whom cant get a grip on themselves through such particular story. Therefore i had to take it over. I had to pretend to be non-emotional, stone cold and we-should-move-on person. How it was? It was hard. You know ... play emotions when you don't get it all - tough, play poker face when you perceive whole spectrum of emotions is tougher thousand times. 

And what you would do if father of family is the only one person who dont cry to be a foundation for everyone? I cant just stay and watch - i chose to be a support for that foundation and since that moment i have been feeling how i grow my power inside. Adult life is suck and all we may do - prepare ourselves to it, make sure that we control our fears and dream. 

Bee good and i know you'll go through it !