The Lies I Told Myself

[1] Me, Myself, and I

"I would tell you my name, but I hate you. I don't care if that irritates you, obviously for the same reason. Now I have to get out of this stupid bed and leave this retarded ass house and go to hell. By hell I mean school. Fun, I know right?"
Alright so just so it's not an inconvenience I'm Felix Jakob Quinn. Call me by Felix and I'll slice you
Into pieces got me? Stairs are an inconvenience. Why can't I just float? That would probably be too convenient. Anyways I only like food. It don't talk shit to me nor does it complain. It just tastes good and satisfies. Best thing ever. Right now I'm eating a chocolate chip pop tart because it's amazing and I hate you. I'm walking to school because I live down the street from it. Which also is inconvenient. I don't really care enough to tell you what classes I take. It's just the same as any high schooler anyway, so why bother? Right now I'm in my first period. We just got through with the pledge. Which, if you didn't know, is what American kids do every morning at school to show our 'pride' in America. Which to me is total bullshit because I hate you and everyone else so why should I have 'pride'? You probably thought by now I'd tell you about my crush. I might as well. It happens to be the girl closest to the door. Know who sits there? Nobody. That's who I'm digging. Yeah , now on to second period. Guess what? I hate this class also. No point in being here really. Just wasting my usual eight hours. Technically I'm wasting twenty-four hours a day because I am a waste of skin pretty much. Before you think, "Awe, he's just throwing a pity party." I'm actually just stating the obvious. Once again I couldn't care less what you think because I hate you. Now that that's over with, on to third period! Yep, I hate this one too. Surprising? Didn't think so. We don't do anything in this class so I'm taking a nap.
***
*Bell Rings*
Agh man! My nap was cut short by that damn bell once again. Gotta' head to fourth period now. Oh my goodness, I hate this teacher more than you. Yeah pretty hard, but true. All he does is compare us to God and talk down to us if we don't do as told. Just in case you don't know who God is, he's the Christian God. If I'm wrong shoot me, I don't believe in religion. Time for fifth period now! Yay, just kidding I still hate you. Alright so in about 37 minutes we go to lunch. Now for this period that is what I, the lunch eater, looks forward to. It's a 3% chance I'm the only one doing so. Well now that lunch is over we go to sixth period! Still sucks butt. Just gonna' take another short nap.
***
Oh, lucky! I woke up two minutes before the bell rang. That means I don't get abruptly woken up from a demon screaming. So now that I'm heading to seventh period I get to stay in the same room for next period also. In my school they believe in 'healthy bodies'. Probably the only reason I'm skinny.
"Why are you wearing long sleeves during P.E. Jakob?" Random acquaintance curiously asks.
"Because I'm cold."
"Then play some hoops with us! That'll get your blood pumping!"
For you uneducated people, 'hoops' is an ignorant person's way of saying basketball.
"No."
"Fine, suit yourself loser."
Good riddance asshole. I'm glad he left now I can walk around by myself until it's two o' clock then take a nap. My teacher happens to be cool so he lets us sleep if we like after so often of activity. He's the only person I'm close to liking. Just because he lets me sleep. That's the fun day of 'Jakob Quinn'! Already forgot my name? Didn't expect you to remember. Yes I always talk to myself, or rather, 'think' to myself.