Athazagoraphobia

The End

The ghost felt cold,
 It was unbearable.

 It reminded him too much of the snow, the rain, and the never ending feeling of loneliness that would linger within him for the time that he stayed here. He traced the tiles of the pillar that he laid, hunched over. He thought, hard and long about    the events that led up to here.

The smells, the noises, the feelings, the touch. It was all too hard to forget. Yet so fuzzy in his head.

He felt scared, terrified even. 
He normally would've loved the warmth that surrounded him. In any other situation, it would've felt like a warm hug. But the lava terrified him, leaving him feeling suffocating. Forming a huge pit in his stomach.

He remembers looking down at it, wondering if it would have hurt more than the tears that ran down his face. It probably would have.

Now, if he could go back in time. He would've chosen to jump in the lava. It would've felt warmer than the cold feeling he went through.

Actually, no. He would've helped Tommy. Held Tommy back, hidden his axe maybe. He would've not let him down. He would've given the rest that Tommy's little heart needed. 

He now understood why Tommy held such fear for Dream now. He wasn't a friend, he was a really bad person. Terrible, actually.

He held a strong grip on his hair and neck, it left him bruised. Purple scattering over his soft neck.
He didn't even notice the pain until he stopped crying after 3 weeks in the train station.

He suspects it is permanent, as it hasn't faded away yet. It hurts a lot. 

Ghostbur felt himself getting worked up, so he tugged on the scarf that Tommy had given him before entering the prison.

Tommy.

If given the chance, Ghostbur would've apologized to him. He wouldn't even beg for forgiveness. He would give Tommy a thousand apologies. Not giving his throat a rest, until he felt satisfied with it. 

He knows he wouldn't have felt satisfied. So he would've written an apology two-thousand times.
He would've even gone back to the prison and finished the job for Tommy. If Sam didn't let him in, he would force himself in.

Even if Tommy was doing a bad thing, Ghostbur still shouldn't have let him down. He didn't deserve that, especially since Ghostbur was the one who witnessed the suffering that Tommy went through for months.

Tommy didn't deserve that.

Ghostbur broke down into tears now, it's been a month in the train station. Each day, it got colder. And damper.

The tears rolled over the scars on his face, reopening them. He felt the blood mix in with his tears.

Although it felt suffocating, this was the closest that he would get to getting a hug. But, it was painful. He doesn't deserve a hug, and there was a reason why he was in pain right now.

He deserved all of what was happening to him, yet he misses the comforting feeling of his dear beloved Friend.

He misses Friend so damn much.

He closed his eyes tightly, hoping he would stop crying. Hoping he would be outside, laying in the soft blue wool of his Friend.

…...no, wait.
He WAS with Friend.
He IS with Friend.
He IS feeding Friend some hay.
Yes, he is with Friend.

He knew he was, so he opened his eyes so confidently. But the tears kept coming, he couldn't see anything. Why was it so dark? This isn't where he is meant to be. It's scary, why isn't there anyone here to come comfort him. He can't see, he needs to see. He needs to stop crying.

He wants to see Friend. So no matter what.
He couldn't think about how he let Tommy down.

He couldn't think about how Friend is probably confused as to why he disappeared.

He couldn't think about how he didn't get to greet Friend again.

He couldn't think about how sad Tommy is from failing to finish his goal.

He couldn't think about how he missed Philza's warm embrace.

He couldn't think about how Philza wouldn't know where he was. 

No matter what, he couldn't think about how he no longer existed in their world anymore.

He managed to get his sight back for a second. But only for a second. Because there exists a dot matrix display at the train station. He has seen the messages on there about what everyone thought about Wilbur's return.

So, no matter what. He couldn't think about what he read there.

But alas, in bold letters, it said what Philza thought about Wilbur's return. He hadn't seen Philza's message yet.

So, within a second, he was blind again.

It was cold, it would always be cold.