Goodbye To My Youth...

Why don't you wake up in the morning?

Because I'm not bothered to get out of my bed
When all night long I had toxic thoughts in my head
My demons just won't go away, they said
'Aren't you better off dead?'

If I had a choice, I'd never get up
away from all the noise, I'd stay in the dark,
Listening to songs on repeat coz I can't seem to stop
Crying 'why can't I go back to the start?'

They don't seem to understand,
how I withstand
the pressure of being a woman
How untreated sadness
Causes madness
It's my mental illness
My brain's restless
I don't know... who I am

Night after night, I wake up sleepy
Because my body doesn't belong to me
I wanna cry but I've lost the need
I wanna be happy

But I don't know what that means
Sleep should cure me
If only you can see
The dangers within me
How at every party
I don't feel
Happy

I don't wake up in the morning
Because I feel disappointed
In having to show it
The fake smile on my face
Getting through the day
When I'm thinking
Why should I stay?

I look forward to the dark of the night
There's no need for me to be so bright
I can just lie down but they say everything seems all right

When it's not
If you saw what my lonely nights are like
You'd run away to the light
Because I'm not me in the dark

-- Why don't you wake up in the morning?
by Azumi Naz