Goodbye To My Youth...

What's there not to hate?

I think that it's easier to hate than to love
In this merciless world
We were always told to forgive and forget
Yet, I always seem to regret
And I think to myself: there's so much hate

When there's nothing left
But me and myself
Stained with sins and mistakes
What's there not to hate?

I'm a burden in their lives
A waste of space and time
It gets harder to breathe everytime
When I'm down under this reluctant smile
I always forget, what I am inside

So I pull out my hair
Screaming this isn't fair
I stay in bed for what feels like an entire year
Everywhere I go, I detach away... from everyone I care.
And I swear, I can't be perfect. Unimpaired.

And it scares me
How bad and wrong and lonely I can be
Everyone I open up to, leaves
It is terrifying
So I keep my mouth shut
And I scream
I'm crying when you seethe
I hold my tongue, coz you are right
I'm the bad guy...

What's there left to hate now?
Maybe this hatered inside my chest
But I don't know how
To fix this. It's beating so hard but it resists
I can't go on, this is it.
What will fix this?
A little love? A kiss?
But this is no fairytale, life is no bliss.

- What's there left to hate? By Azumi Naz