Tutoring the Bad Boy [REWRITTEN]

17. apologies and emptiness

THE LOOK ON my mom's face was nothing like I expected it to be. Her worried eyes suddenly turned relieved once she saw me at the front door. It felt abnormal for her to seem like she cared that much about me. Years of her continuously coming home too drunk to even talk properly or not coming home at all can't be washed away by one relieved look on her face.

"Irene," my mom's voice was filled with relief as she abruptly wrapped her arms around me to bring me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry."

Her voice sounded too genuine to be true. Shaky. Filled with sorrow. Like it was somehow perfectly rehearsed but at the same time, it sounded like she truly meant it. Real. It entirely didn't make any sense, but how could it? Someone doesn't just change overnight— I couldn't just accept the fact that she wants to care about me now. How could I let her? Did she even deserve to love me? Did I deserve her love? It was all too confusing for me to process in my mind.

"You two come in. It's cold outside," she ushered us into the house. Things were a little tidier than when I originally left, and I couldn't help but glance at Archer who gave me a small smile. It was nice to have his reassurance.

"Joseph isn't here right now. He had to go find some specific stuffed elephant for his kid," the lady informed us— mostly me. The fact that my mom was talking to somebody who was a father surprised the ever living shit out of me. I couldn't help but think about my dad. Would he approve of this? Would he have approved of the ongoing years of her grieving over him? He was my father and I didn't even know him well enough to know these things.

     I don't think I realized how much it hurt until now. I had to face it now; I feel like I've been running away all of this time.

     "It's nice to meet you, Miss Anderson," Archer greeted my mom as he took off his shoes before standing back by my side. I didn't bother to move though I knew we were bound to be here for a while.

     "It's nice to meet you as well. And please, just call me Katherine," she smiled with more hospitality than I thought she had. "Who might you be?"

     "My name's Archer Everton, ma'am," he replied. I glanced at him and he gave me a mischievous look before speaking, "I'm Irene's boyfriend."

     I almost lost my shit. I opened my mouth to protest but decided not to say anything from the surprised, yet joyful figure standing in front of us. As much as I hated her, I liked seeing her happy— not that I've seen much of it. I wasn't entirely sure why I was being so forgiving in my mind; was she not the lady that had neglected me for years when it was her duty to take care of me? Was I always this forgiving in the first place? Come to think of it, I was never truly been able to hold a grudge against somebody for longer than a week.

     "Please, you two have a seat in the living room. Would either of you like anything to drink?" she had a motherly tone in her voice. It made me want to shudder.

     I shook my head while Archer gave her a polite "no" before sitting next to me on the couch. The living room looked like it had been cleaned up quite a bit, though there were still many stains on the carpet from either my mom's alcohol or some other substance. The small television we had stood on a wooden stand that looked a little less than sturdy. I usually avoided the living room whenever I went home and when I did go into it, it was never long enough for me to actually take in the entire room.

     The walls were the same light blue color as when we first moved in here, but now the colors seemed so much duller, and I wasn't sure if it was due to the years of neglect or from the atmosphere of it all. Dad was still alive when we first moved here. A few old paintings I made in elementary school were framed and hanging on the wall, along with family photos of which some I didn't even remember my parents taking and a baby photo of me. The two gray couches were a little luckier than the floor with them only having a few stains they had to sustain over the years.