I looked at the teacher again without answering, a frown on my face. The cuts were still hurting, so were the bruises. I didn't even listen to what sensei was explaining.
When it came to lunch break, I told my 'friends' I'd rather eat alone. I tried my best to ignore Mina's worried gaze.
I bought my meal, knowing I wouldn't have eaten it. I silently walked up the stairs and headed to the roof.
As soon as I opened the door, the wind hit me, making a mess out of my hair and taking my tie away.
It doesn't matter... I won't need it anymore anyways.
The view from up there was beautiful. I smiled slightly. I was glad I would've died in such a beautiful place, even if I didn't deserve it.
I put my meal on the ground and approached the railing. I looked around to make sure I was completely alone.
You are alone. As always.
Yes, as always.
A thing I wanted to shut up forever was that stupid voice in my head. Maybe dying would've helped me.
I started climbing the railing. I stood there and took one last look at Tokyo's landscape. The buildings. The train. The cars. The houses. Everything was perfect, placed in their location as pieces of a puzzle.
So beautiful.
Unlike me. I'm a mistake. I'm wrong, I'm horrible. Isn't it what they always told me? Stupid, ugly, useless, dense.
My mother's words echoed in my head, making me nearly wince.
"If only I hadn't had you!"
I smiled happily, a tear slowly coming out of my right eye. Finally, even mom will be free, without me...
I quickly made a list of the people who wouldn't have missed me and my mind ran up to Shinsō, for some reason.
I didn't even talk to him. I didn't even thank him.
I wanted to, but now it was too late, wasn't it?
I clenched my fists and sealed my eyes closed. I have always been afraid of heights. I didn't want to look down.
I'm going to do this. So that everyone will be free without me. Without this ball and chain called Kaminari Denki.
I opened my arms, just like anyone could do to hug a friend and faced the unknown, a small smile on my face. "Goodbye," I murmured.
I started leaning my weight outside.
"KAMINARI!"
I was falling.
Falling so fast I didn't even feel the air around me.
I opened my eyes.
Someone was calling me and holding me by my wrist, his voice desperate. I let out a whine, my wrist caged between his fingers. It hurt. It was where the cuts were, where Monoma sent me zaps before.
I looked down.
The ground was so far from my feet, the yard and trees looked so small from up there. I screamed in fear, not feeling anything under me as I moved my feet.
"Please lift me up! I'm afraid! Help!" I yelled.
What a stupid idea, opening my eyes. I didn't have to. So that I wouldn't have seen the ground.
I could've died peacefully, dammit...
"Kaminari! I'm here! Don't be afraid, I'll lift you up!" someone yelled back. I forced myself to look up and through my teary eyes, someone with purple hair wass holding me.
YOU ARE READING
𝙎𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙡_ 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓚𝓪𝓶𝓲
Fanfiction⚠TW (TRIGGER WARNING)⚠ This story has detailed descriptions of abuse, violence, self-harm and suicidal thoughts/actions. ______ 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞? ______ 𝓑𝔂 𝓢...