Out of Time

Chapter 6: Final Gear

Speed, speed makes me happy.

"Why?!" Her chest became heavier, her knees weaken. 

"Azriella a bike? Why would you do that? Are you out of your mind?!" Her nose started steaming as she shouts.

"Mom, I'm fine." Azriella dragged her bag down and walked past her.

Oh god, this child! Azalette pulled her wrist from walking away, "Do you know what might cost you riding that bike? Your life!"

"Have you forgotten what happened to your—"

"Mom!" Azriella clenched her fist and shouted while her eyes are down, Azalette grabbed her chest, trying her best not to faint away.

"This is not about Dad or whoever is dead because of a freaking bike! My whole life—" 

Azriella stopped herself from taking quick, shallow breaths. She slowed down. "My whole life, I've been trying to forget the unfairness of the world that happened to Dad." 

Her voice broke down, her knees became weaker and weaker. "I was trying to have some fun mom, I was not trying to forget what happened to dad!"

"Azriella Dawn, are you hearing yourself?" Azalette crossed her arms and sat herself down. 

"You can be happy in a lot of ways." She uttered.

"But I'm not!" Azriella stomped her feet. 

"I'm trying, Mom." She took a step back.

"But even how hard I try to be happy, just like what you're telling me to do. I can't, it feels like it's forbidden, it feels like I'm forgetting Dad and how I'm blaming myself." Her tears streamed down to her face.

"Oh, honey, it's not your fault." Azalette tried to reach her. 

Azriella steps back,  "And it sucks. It feels like I'm stuck. Being happy without him doesn't feel right, but today I know I had fun, I had fun without thinking about him." 

Azriella looked at her mother's eyes before sprinting upstairs towards her room. She shoved her face onto her favorite pillow and scream at the top of her lungs. I was happy.

**

"Are you sure you're okay to give her a ride home?" Eli doubted.

Zach confidently crossed his arms, "Of course, are you okay with that?" He glanced at Azriella.

She nodded, "But can I drive?" 

"You know how to drive?" Zach's thick and rosy lips curved into a little smile.

"Yes, of c—"

"No Azi, I can let you ride this but not drive it." Eli tapped the handlebar of his motorcycle.

"Hey watch your hand." Zach swept her hand away.

"Okay, I'll call you when we got home." Azriella wore her helmet and hopped on the passenger's seat.

"You know it's better to hug him than to hold that metal thing." Eli glared at her and kept her chin high. Azriella rolled her eyes and disagreed with her by shifting her head on sides.

"You're not leaving my sight without hugging him, it's getting dark it's better than to be safe than never, right?" Eli crossed her arms and shifted her glare at Zach.

"It's not that I want you to hug me but come on she's right."

"I'll kill you if you'll give meaning to this." Azriella sighed and hugged him.