Scattered Puzzle

《Parte Ocho》

Dear Calum,

It's the random girl writing a letter to you and I'm sitting here at 5 a.m.

I haven't slept for awhile, it's been a day or two.

Sleeping should be seen as an escape but to me it's nothing other than a new place for bad things to haunt me.

To torture me with my most deepest fears yet I'm already watching my back every second.

I don't need anything else to worry about but my nightmares are like a big fuck you from my conscience.

Yet, I've had a dream about you, it was weird.

You weren't doing anything, you were just standing there.

Your lips were moving but I couldn't  figure out what you were trying to say.

Like I said, it was weird.

I still would like to know what it was you were saying.

In other news, it's been over a month since I've last seen you.

I kind of wish I could see you somewhere.

I'm losing hope.

Fast.

I don't want to but it's hard to have hopes when you just go places to forget your own name every night.

Some old lady told me I should go to an AA meeting cause' I'm a mess.

I already know that, for fucks I don't  care.

But that's useless because I'll just leave there annoyed and not paying attention to a damn thing anyone said.

I don't want to listen to your bullshit sob story.

Suck it up, everyone's got problems.

That sounds rude doesn't it?

I know it does I just don't give a fuck, that's my norm though.

My motto, Todos Los Pecaron.

All sinned.

It's true and it tells no lies because a sin is a sin, all we can do is ask forgiveness.

I'm not religious by any means though, I just like the story on that.

I don't want forgiveness though, I'm  fine with being nothing but a fuck up.

I'm worthless, Adrian just reminded me of that.

A strong gracias in his direction because I always believed it before him but hey, everyone needs to be shown what they need to remember at all times.

I was already like this but he made me feel human, but I lost that when I figured he was no human.

Just a fucked up man that fed off others that were dying inside.

He contributed.

Gracias, mi amor.

Pain shall never be forgotten, it's meant to be felt even if it tears you down.

You're alive, I'm alive.

Do you feel pain for anything?

Have you ever been so messed up you just wanted to cut yourself off from the world?

I'd like to think you do, everyone has a story but I sort of hope you're like my clean slate.

A new beginning.

To feel like something real, not just more aching sadness to numb.

Or another person to take care of.

I wouldn't mind taking care of you though.

At least then I'd know you.

From,
Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haio! I said that to someone on IMVU and they said I don't speak Spanish. Bruh.... On a serious note, I would like to work on a playlist for this but I'm going to wait it out or just put songs on each chapter instead of just throwing them on some list no one will look at.

~R {March 1st, 2015}