The Cursed War

Chapter Nine: Departure

I stormed straight for the training room. I know im not meant to loose it like this but I wasn't thinking I needed something to hit that wasn't the king or he's snobby lord. I found myself exactly where I needed to be. I didn't bother with wraps or a bag instead I strode to the centre pillar and punched it. I squeezed my knuckles so tightly they popped as hit the wall over and over again. Cursed team. Future Queen. War. My fist slammed as hard as they could over and over. I acknowledged the blood dripping from my hands but left it as beads of blood fell to he ground. Bastard Lord. Fucking King. Harder. I hissed and pummled the pillar. It cracked and parts of it broke off but I didn't stop. Wouldn't stop. I know most people killed to be on the cursed team but I was born into it. Its a privilege to fight beside them to see my birth family but not if I turn my back on the family ive made. Not if I leave them. The skin on my fists became drenched in blood.
I will never turn my back on them. Never. I listened as marble and bone shattered against eachother and I will never marry that horrid king! The pillar gave way under my hit and I fell forwards slightly but caught my balance. I admired the broken pieces on the floor before moving to the next pillar. Fuck Queen, Fukc being married to that King. Fuck ruling this kingdom. My jaw clenched.

"Fuck someone's angry " a voice frowned but there was a hint of emotion behind it. I didn't bother to listen to their steps or turn to see who it was. But I stepped away from the crumbling pillar. I listened as the only noise around was the dripping of my blood.
I looked at the damage I had caused in the room.
"Thats going to be expensive to replace" the same voice mentioned. I wanted to snap but stopped myself. I care why?. Its about time the king payed for something,  anything. Heavy steps approache me and I refused to look at the person approaching. I had broken many codes by breaking these pillars. Something I drilled into my team. Don't let your anger take control and don't take your anger out on things. Realise it and keep it use it in small amounts to achieve your goal. Not all at once. My hands trembled at my mistake. The mistake I knew I was making but didn't care. I clenched and unclenched my fists. I felt a calloused hand gently touch my hand and pick it up. I didn't dare look at their face. They studied my fists the tiny wounds I had made.
"Shit Ceres. What happened to not hitting things?" The voice cursed. They ran a finger over my crimson knuckles. I could feel my throat tighting and tried to gulp but couldn't. I listened as they tore at their clothing before wrapping my hand with it. I still didn't look. I didn't need to. I knew who was here. Who he was.
"What made you this angry? I tried for years to get you to snap but you never did but this, this is...stupid" he snarled squeezing my finger tips. I pulled my hand from him but he grabbed on.
"Its not your problem" I growled more aggressively than I meant.
"When your this angry at someone it is my problem. It's my job to go sort out that person" he argued back.
"You cant sort out this person, not even i can" I frowned finally looking at him.
His golden eyes stared at my hands at the blood. His face was soft a side of him nobody ever got to see.
"I can sort anyone out for you even if i die" His voice was quiet and I knew it drowned in truth. He would do it for me and Celest he would turn the world to ash for us.
"Not him. You cant and I certainly won't allow it. "
"Its the King isn't it?" Austurs voice became darker but I refused to lie to him.
"It is." My voice came out flat.
"What did he do to you?" Austur growled and a sad smile grew on my face.
"He hasn't done anything. I just don't agree with his orders. That's all." I admitted watching the soft face turn hard and cold.
"Bullshit Ceres! When are you going to stop lying!  When are you going to start telling us what's really going on! Why do have to deal with this crap by yourself!" He snapped. I wanted to step back but didn't I stayed where I stood.
"When are you going to trust us! When are you going to see were not those broken children you found! That we can handle anything, anything that you can.  We want to but you never let us! You push us away to protect us but who protects you! Who keeps you safe! Who helps you fight your demons!" He ranted and I waited. Let him get everything off his chest but that's seemed to be it.
"I'm not 20 anymore and none of us are children" he added to finish his rant.
"I know your not children. But I raised each and everyone of you and I can't loose you. Having you guys is what fights my demons. You all protect me and its not that I don't trust you. I trust all of you.  I just...I just don't like me. Its to difficult to explain but after this is done ill tell you guys everything" I smiled reaching a hand out for his face. I stopped half way though and dropped my hand. I can't and it broke me but I couldn't.
"Austur could you do me a favour?" I asked gently watching him. He finally made eye contact with me with a plastered smile.
"Can you round everyone up. There's a change of plans. " I explained.
Austur rose his brow.
"Alright" he answered striding off with his hands in his pockets of his pants. Once he was out of sight I dropped to my knees as tears flooded my eyes and fell down my face. I covered my face with my bleeding hands as I cried alone and in silence. I didn't let out a sound instead I just waited for the tears stop falling.

How could something like me even be able to cry, to love and to care? I'm nothing but a curse. Once the tears stopped I crawled back to my feet. Why dose it matter? I feel these things that's what matters. I took off striding to my quarters where Austur would gather everyone. I opened the door to find everyone already lounging in my room. I didn't try to hide my knuckles or cover up the drying streaks of water on my face. Instead I stood before everyone. I took a deep breath in as they each watched me.
"Theres been a change of plans." I started. I looked up taking each of them in.
"I'll be leaving tomorrow morning to go fight on the front lines in the war. Alongside of the cursed team and other knights. None of you will be joining me instead the five of you will be on guard in Araven looking after the human lands with the thirds as well. Aine will be in charge of this mission and as for the goblin orders I honestly have no idea what the king expects. Its been pushed back but that's as far as I know. " I informed everyone.
"No he can't do that!" Aine argued and I shook my head.
"If the cursed team are being used that means-" Celests eyes widened
"That you most likely won't return from the battlefield " Neptune finished.
The room went silent.
"She'll be fine"Austur smiled wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"Yeah in order to fight with the cursed you have to be pretty strong" Aine agreed rising to her feet.
"Not to mention there your family "Celest added. Aine strode up to me and held my hand the one that wasn't wrapped up.
"Ill be fighting against Daelind and Asoilo" I explained and no one seemed bothered by it.
"Well while your kicking butt ill show you just how much you've taught me" Aine bragged.  Neptune nudged her.
"Shown all of us"  she scowled. Aine rolled her violet eyes they seemed to have dark circles slowly appearing under them. It made my stomach churn.
I smiled at the five. They believed in me. So I can believe in myself for them.

Morning of departure.
I managed to get no sleep last night. Instead I sat up revising the plan for the goblins over and over again as well as the list Aine would have to follow while I'm gone. I sat watching the glorious sun rise marking the day I had leave for the battlefield. Three fights in just a short amount of time. One being an actual war. One that had actual risks. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and rose from my seat as I pulled on my fighting leathers. They weren't based off what I was use to wearing instead they were based of what I use to wear. The entire outfit was white with obsidian trim. It felt the same it my old amour did. It even had the white hooded cape. Wearing white in a battlefield looked cool but it wasnt efficient. It got dirty fast and it made me stick out but I suppose the entire cursed team wore only white and the only way to tell who was who was by their magic and the trim of there leathers. I pulled the fingerless gloves which acted more like a sleeve as the gloves only wrapped around one finger with incatrit vines my ring finger. The cape I wore clipped up around the bottom of my neck with a  obsidian flower. It was natured themed because when I got my original armour it was handed down by a Guwenien team member who had died. The flowers and vines have stuck around ever since. I clipped the hood up but left it down showing my lightness hair and my eyes. I didn't do much with my hair other then comb it. Unpractacial but if I'm going to live in the past for a day I may as well look the part after all my mother ways loved my hair down. I whirled for the door after sheathing an obsidian blade on either side of my back.  I forced the door open and strode out. I held my head straight my shoulders back as if I thought I was the greatest thing to ever exis. I stalked to the sixth platform where Chyra waited for me and she wasn't the only one. By her dark wings everyone waited. 
I plastered a smile as I strode towards them.
"Kick ass" Austur told me as he patted my back.
Aine didn't say anything instead she watched from a far. Celest simply smiled giving me a hug and Callius waited by Chyra. I stalked up to him.
"Hey," I tried to smile.
He gave a quick smile back.
"Youll survive" he said as I stared to climb on Chyra. I will survive he said not win but survive. The others crowded by Chyras feet all with forced smiles and fake hope. I noticed Aine eyes were filled with tears.
"You can do this" I told them with a stern voice before taking off into the skies. The battleground was a three day fly to the northern fields of Elarelle. There i will meet up with everyone else and we will come up with a reckless strategy to win the war. With my luck ill have the hardest part too but I will survive. I will slaughter.