Twice Oneshots

I Can't Stop Me. (Mina x Fem. Reader x Nayeon)

Requested~

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SELF HARMING (as well as mature content)

They were members of Twice, in love with the same girl. Oh, the complex situation they got themselves in, or should I say Nayeon got herself in. She tried so hard to tell her heart to stop. "Stop racing when Minari talks about her", "Stop making me tongue tied when her name slips out of Mina's mouth." All of these were simple commands that went unheard by the beating organ in her chest. Everyday, she heard about Y/N from Mina, which inevitably grew her feelings for the girl being mentioned.

Nayeon did everything she could to stop herself from falling deeper in love with someone she would never be able to have, 'Who knew you could fall in love with someone you only heard about and just met?'. Y/N was just a dream for her at this point. She knew that she would never hurt Mina like that but she couldn't help it when she heard her beautiful voice as she sings a line from 'I Love You 3000', when she saw the sweet, happy smile created from pure joy, induced by her best friend, her sister, Mina. She just couldn't help it. So, she decided to distance herself from the two which resulted in her slowly distancing herself from the others as well.

After a month of avoiding Mina and Y/N, Nayeon is alone in the practice room while her members gather for dinner, Y/N not even present. She can't help but feel they don't notice. Who is she kidding? She knows for a fact that they don't notice when she's gone, they don't care. It's true.

How could they notice? She is there when they need her to be, for work. For play, it's just a show yet she can't stop herself from thinking they would care. She cries alone, every night, and no one even bats an eye at her when she wakes up with a puffy face. She misses meals so often that she has lost so much weight and is getting paler by the hour.

This "routine" continues for months on end. She thought it was working because she didn't feel anything for Y/N but when she saw them, at dinner, kissing as they announced their relationship, she couldn't help but shed a tear. Of course, because she is their Unnie, mature and kind, she will congratulate them. So she swallows her tears quietly, hugs them both, and whispers "Congratulations."

Some days, she leaves to sleep in a hotel. She just couldn't do it. She could not take that pain quietly anymore. She promised herself she would always come back early but the next day she would arrive late at the dorm, still puffy and with her eyes still glossy.

Nayeon tried to commit suicide. Three times. All different methods. Each time she stopped herself for an unknown reason that frustrated her to the ends of the earth and back. One thing she didn't stop was the cutting. In the bathroom of the hotel, while searing water burns her milky white, soft skin. Thin lines would adorn her in places that would go unseen by others, work of her friend, the razor.

One morning, she thought they would finally care and notice everything that was different when she walking through the door but all she got was, "Why are you so late?! You should be more responsible since you're the oldest!" and "Where were you? Did you go out to have some sex as a stress reliever? Like you used to?" and that was her breaking point.

At that moment, she couldn't take it and she couldn't stop her mouth from moving. She was lucky because Mina and Y/N were out, probably on a date.

She lifted her head, eyes filled with tears and stared at her members who gathered in front of her like it was an intervention. Her leader was enraged, the others disappointed, thinking she was this irresponsible.

She took a sharp breath and silently snapped, "You think I went out to have sex? You think I fell back into old, horrible habits?"
"WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK? HUH? You were gone, you're always gone. What do you have to say for yourself?" Jihyo took her authoritative stance and stared her down.

"I never thought I would say this but here it goes," she whispers, building up her courage to finally spill the truth. "You were supposed to check on me. You all were supposed to care. I cried every night for the past year because you never cared. I was there for you, each and everyone of you. On your good days and the bad ones. I was always there. And this is how I get repaid? I expected you to notice my eyes every morning, to notice who wasn't there during dinner or breakfast. I'm always gone because I can't handle it. I can't take it. I can't stop myself from loving someone who will never be mine."

Deafening silence ensued. The other members present, looked down, with tears of anger and disappointment towards themselves. Nayeon took another deep breath and continued, "I love you. All of you. I never thought, that by being there for you, I would fall in love with Y/N."

All of their heads shot up to the door right that instant when a loud thud was heard as Mina and Y/N stood in complete shock. Mina was seething with anger, why? Because Nayeon was in love with Y/N, her girlfriend, and she didn't tell her.

Mina marched quietly to Nayeon and punched her right across the face. Nayeon took it quietly, hoping this would end her suffering once and for all. Mina kept hitting her, until she passed out and the others had to pry her off Nayeon.

[Author- I know Mina would never do this! Sorry!]

They others immediately went to Nayeon's aid as Mina scoffed due to their decision. "Why are you all going to her? That jerk!" Jihyo abruptly stood up an slapped Mina across the face.

"She does not deserve this. She did not want for us not to care. She- she was there for us, but we never shot a glance at her." Jihyo breaks down and sobs as Nayeon regains consciousness and Mina is contemplating her actions.

As soon as Nayeon wakes, she sits up and laughs. The others look worried but she doesn't care. "Why?" she keeps laughing while looking up to the ceiling. "WHY?! WHY HAVEN'T I DIED YET? I TRY AND TRY BUT IT NEVER WORKS! WHY? W-Wh-why..." She breaks down in tears just hoping it would all end.

The others just take in the new information while comforting her and they let the guilt eat them up inside. "I just can't do it. It's no one's fault, okay? I will not let you blame yourselves because I couldn't stop myself. I am sorry Mina and Y/N. I am so sorry. All of this because, I can't stop myself. Because I Can't Stop Me." She stood in front of them with no emotions or expressions. She was numb. Completely numb.

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Hello Readers! This was a really long one and to the one who requested, I hope you like it. I am sorry for updating this so late and skipping last week as well.

Anyway, I will be updating a little less regularly because of school so please be patient with me :}

Also....THANK YOU ALL FOR VOTING FOR MY ONESHOTS! It really means a lot. Don't forget, you can send me requests and I will try my best for you :)

Anyway, bye readers!

Until next time,
May we meet again,
~ S.R.