damiano david; oneshots

struggles

TW: self harm, panic attack

I'm laying on my bed curled up in a fuzzy blanket. I'm staring at the ceiling with no emotion. my whole body is shaking. I flinch and quickly close my eyes. I just keep telling my self no to do it, I can't relapse, not now.

I can hear my boyfriend, Damiano, singing in the kitchen as he is preparing the food for us. his footsteps are coming closer and closer. "mi amore-", he walks to the bedroom and freezes at the door way. he looks at me worried.

"what's wrong?", he says softly and slowly sits next to me on the bed. he gently strokes my back. tears start to roll down my cheeks, I'm shaking so bad. I can barely breath.

"it's so hard", I whisper with a cracky voice. he looks at me for a long time and suddenly gets up. he quickly goes back to the kitchen. well great, no I have made him mad. amazing.

but for my surprise, he comes back soon with a bowl of ice. he sits next to me again. he gently takes my hand and opens it. "here", he says as he places a freezing cold ice cube on my hand. I flinch, it's so cold.

"press it", he smiles a bit and nods to me. he gently strokes my hair and smiles for a while. "you're so brave", he whispers and kisses my forehead. him believing in me makes it a tiny bit easier not to hurt myself.

after a while my shaking is starting to ease up. the ice cube does help a bit. he is still stroking my hair softly. "better?", he whispers. I slightly nod to him. a smile comes to his face.

he takes a lotion from the bedside table and gently rubs it on my old scars on my wrists. I move a strain of hair away from his face. he doesn't notice, he is focusing. how cute. he gently kisses the palm of my hand.

after that he wraps him arms around me and I press my head against his chest. he kisses my forehead many times and smiles. "I'm proud of you, you're doing great", he says. I smile a bit.

he turns on the tv and we watch a movie together and eat some yummy snacks. I fall asleep in his arms, they feel so safe and warm.

and for anyone who might be struggling right now, remember that you're loved and there is always help available 🤍

national suicide prevention line: 1-800-273-8255 (chat also available)