Princess of the Elite

I Swear to God

The shift in my emotions was so instantaneous it made my head spin.

I was used to the empty gray ocean that usually filled me up and slipped into each moment of my life. It drained the color from the world, everything around me always appearing so dry and stale. The vast ocean inside me, which was like tv static in my ears, was the only thing that kept the surmounting anger and sadness inside me at bay. Always air on the side of nonchalance, show no weakness, never act too interested, never trust anyone, and always watch your back. It was my way of life. It kept me from getting hurt or hurting others too badly.

Namjoon was a wild card I hadn't prepared for. He immediately sparked my curiosity and I found myself wanting to know more about him. He turned out to be one of the most peculiar people I had ever met. He disregarded the persona I wore in favor of whatever he might find underneath. When he looked at me I felt seen. When he spoke to me it didn't feel like a transaction. He found the small crack in my mask and applied pressure until it widened, exposing parts of me that we're hidden even to myself. Although I just met him tonight, I was sure I wanted to see the world through his eyes.

So when I saw him completely shut down in the presence of the hybrid trafficker the ocean inside of me raged. The man who was just seconds ago laughing and telling jokes with me was now a shell of his earlier self. It felt like the window to another a life, a life where I would finally be able to breathe, was ripped away from me. Who the fuck was this guy and why does he have so much power over Namjoon?

Namjoon responded to the man without hesitation, "Sir."

My head snapped from the trafficker to Namjoon. Sir? He regarded the man with so much respect it almost made my stomach turn. His head was lowered, eyes trained to the floor, his entire body tense. I found it hard to believe this man deserved any respect at all, especially not from someone like Namjoon. The ocean inside me roared. The crashing of waves so loud inside my head I was finding it hard to focus.

Confidence gathered in the man before us, his ego obviously inflated by Namjoon's greeting. He learned back in his chair, man-spreading, one hand resting on his thigh.

"I expected you over an hour ago. Maybe you need a reminder of what happens when you disobey me."

Namjoon responded immediately, like this entire interaction was scripted. "No, sir. I will do better. Please forgive me, sir."

I willed the sounds of crashing waves to grow quieter in order to make a little more sense out of the situation. The trafficker must be Namjoon's so-called boss he mentioned earlier. I felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me. He was Namjoon's boss?

Still Namjoon's head was lowered, not daring to lift it and meet the eyes of anyone in the room. His hands were crossed in front of him and he spun the ring on his finger around and around. It was the only movement he made and I assumed it was some kind of nervous tick.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I placed a hand on his arm, hoping to provide some kind of comfort, but he flinched away from me quickly, as if I had burned him. I felt my heart clench. It was obvious that he was struggling and I wasn't sure how I could help him. I let out a small breath and ran a hand through my hair. The trafficker dared to let out a loud, obnoxious laugh that took my focus off of Namjoon.

Amusement danced across his face as he taunted Namjoon. "Were you playing human with her? Huh? You good for nothing little shit. While I was getting manhandled by this bitch and her goons you were living out all your little Cinderella dreams, weren't you?"

Namjoon breathed in deeply and opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, unable to hear his robotic responses once more.

"God, you don't shut the fuck up, do you?" I crossed the room to sit on the arm of the chair diagonal from the trafficker. "I was having such a nice time until I had to come listen to you bitch and moan. Don't speak unless spoken to, your voice gives me a fucking headache."