deja vu

prologue

four years ago

i always thought that when you had your first kiss, it was going to be exactly like how they described it in the movies; magical, thrilling, sparks, life changing.

i always imagined it was going to be with the love of my life on a romantic, perfect night. there would be hundreds of stars out while the world seemed to be at a stand still around us. i would feel fireworks inside of me and butterflies swarm in my stomach as my soulmates lips touched mine.

well that's bullshit. bullshit. bullshit. bullshit.

granted, i'm not quite sure if it really is bullshit, considering it never actually, truly happened to me yet.

"you can't just leave!" i hear a shout behind me as i storm away and out of his house, my blood boiling.

"oh yeah? watch me!" i shout back as i loudly open his front door and slam it right behind me.

my fists were balled in anger and i could feel my nails digging into the skin of my palms. i took a deep breath in, jaw clenched as i began to walk down the steps of his front porch, not quite sure how i'll get home since i can't drive yet.

i didn't get very far though before i heard the front door or his house open and slam just as loudly behind him. i didn't turn back though as i continued down the steep steps hurriedly, wanting to get as far away from possible as the green eyed boy.

"are you seriously going to leave because of this?" he says behind me, the sound of his footsteps close behind me.

"stop following me." i say under my breath as i reached the side walk, turning in the direction of my house. i live about a seven minute drive, so i should be able to walk.

"hey—" he says, grabbing my wrist which instantly made me pull it away as quick as possible. i hurriedly pulled my sleeve down as i turned around to face the brown haired boy who i once called my best-friend.

"i said stop following me harry!" i shout in the middle of the street, my eyes meeting his.

he paused for a moment before continuing, looking down at me. i could tell he was guilty by the look of hurt in his green eyes. i hated yelling at him, but in this moment i didn't want anything more than for him to leave me alone.

"you're being overdramatic rosalind! i mean seriously, are you that upset over this?" he says, his tone now sounding more angry then regretful.

"i am not being overdramatic! you're being insensitive! what ever happened to keeping each other's secrets!" i yell, the anger inside me rising with every word we spat at each other.

"i said i was sorry like a thousand times!" he shouted just as loud.

"sorry doesn't mean anything, asshole." i say a bit quieter now that i could feel the neighbors eyes on us.

a mix of the hot sun and the anger inside me was making me sweat. it was probably the hottest day of the summer, and i was wearing a jacket over my white tank-top. my sleeves were pulled down below my hands, i always like them longer that way.

"what are you gonna do rosalind? go tell your mom about it?" his words take me by shock. my eyes immediately shoot uo to his, and the second they lock i can sense the instant regret.

i don't know what came over me, but right then and there i slapped that fifteen year old boy right across the face. i've never felt myself more angry or more betrayed by someone, which is why the second i saw his face turn to the side and his cheek grow red, the only thing i felt in that moment was accomplishment.

"i hate you." i grit through my teeth at the red faced boy.

within seconds i was turned away, speed walking down the side walk with tears swelling in my eyes. the second i was far enough away from him i began to cry as i walked home, the feeling of betrayal, sadness, and anger washing over me all at once.